Neighbors (The Good, The Bad, & The Weird)
by melissawtf
Summary: Some 'Neighbor' AUs taken from a post on tumblr. All are Darcy Lewis-centric who interacts with various Marvel characters ;)
1. Forgive & Forget (Or Not)

**Author's Note: Here are some Darcy-centric AU's because I can't, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, stay focused on any story ideas of mine. At least with these I can do quick little ONE-SHOTS and I'm done with it.**  
 **As the summary states, all of these are neighbor AU's. Each chapter is a different scenario/it's own mini-story. Some will have Darcy living in a nice little suburb and others will have her living in an apartment building or whatever. In some chapters, Darcy will know some of the Marvel characters/will already be friends with them, and in other chapters she will have no idea who any of them are. Sound good? Good.**

* * *

 _ **Prompt** : I just found out that you're the asshole who has been stealing my coupons from the Sunday newspaper every week and I am going to make. you. PAY! AU  
 **Characters** : Pre-Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanova, Jane Foster, Maria Hill  
 **Tags** : Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Human, Friendship, Humor, Pranking  
_

Darcy's trudging up the stairs of her building to the eighth floor, shoes in hand and wearing borrowed pajamas from Natasha's on-again/off-again boyfriend Clint. Ladies night had been one for the books and instead of drunkenly heading back home to her place at four in the morning, she had crashed with the other drunk ladies at Natasha's house.

Thankfully the rather intimidating redhead made her, Jane and Maria chug water before they had passed out, so the worst of their hangovers didn't make an appearance. However, trudging up the stairs because the elevator was down for maintenance, even with a non-sickening hangover, was still pretty killer.

The dark metal door with a white painted eight on it has never looked so heavenly and Darcy pushes through it with a content sigh. She passes a couple of doors before taking a right at the end of the hall and after passing yet another couple of doors, she stumbles to a halt. Brow furrowing, Darcy watches a figure crouched right next to her door.

" _Hey!_ " She only has a moment of satisfaction as the creep jerks and bangs his elbow on the wall, her smug grin falling the second she lays on his face. He's actually kind of cute, even in sweaty workout clothes and dark hair pulled back into a knot at the back of his head, but the now crumpled papers in his hands remind her not to go all.. gooey at the sight of a pretty smile. Blue eyes stare up at her as she steps forward with determination in each step and the scruff covering his very chiseled jaw is quite distracting, but still.. "So you're the asshole who has been stealing my coupons from the Sunday newspaper every week."

He blinks once.. and then twice, and his smile turns rather rakish. "Now, sweetheart, this is not what it looks like," he says.

She gulps and strengthens her resolve. _Do not fall for a pretty face. Do not fall for a pretty face!_ "Yeah, well, try saying that again when said coupons are not clenched tight in hand." Both of them do a double take to said hand and Darcy mentally scolds herself for not noticing something pretty significant about the hand holding her coupons. "A pretty sweet, _metal_ hand, but still your hand nonetheless!" She babbles. He immediately drops the paper with a sheepish grin and tries to hide his arm behind him, and Darcy immediately feels bad for pointing out the prosthetic. But then she remembers about her coupons and closes the rest of the distance between them, she then fishing out a small key from her pocket to jab it in it's keyhole. "I don't know who you are, but I will find you," she says and he snorts after the words register with him, "and I will make. you. pay!"

Darcy enters her apartment with a flourish, slamming the door behind her without a second thought and drops her heels by the door. Not allowing herself to feel bad for the coupon thief outside, Darcy heads for the kitchen and worries about pulling together a meal that will satisfy her stomach.

* * *

It only takes a day to figure out that the coupon thief is one James Barnes and is apparently the roommate to her neighbor Steve Rogers (aka the man who's too sweet and good looking for his own good, and the same man who Darcy might have had a thing for ever since she moved in months ago). And while James, _call me Bucky_ , had such flirtatious remarks every time he bumped into her in the hall, the flirting was only ever in good humor.

Still, as the weeks slowly pass, Darcy is sure to let him _and_ Steve know that the thieving of her coupons was not appreciated. Aghast, Steve had taken Darcy's side and was sure to make his best friend feel bad, but Darcy would merely smirk and tell him not to worry because Bucky had his coming. So that's how, three weeks later as the boys are helping Darcy haul up her groceries, Darcy hears about Bucky moaning about his ritualistic bath and how he can't wait to soak and nap when they get back to their apartment.

Yeah. She knows what she's going to do to him now.

 **.xXx.**

She's awake way earlier than she normally wakes, waiting for Steve to walk through the hall so she could stop him. Both he and Bucky both left at the same time for their early morning workouts, but Steve usually returned first to shower and then Bucky would show up a good hour later to a free bathroom and food waiting on the table.

She only has to wait for a few minutes before she sees Steve's unusually sweaty form pass by, she then hurriedly yanking her door open and calling out. "Rogers! Come here a sec, will 'ya?"

The blonde man stops and turns, his eyebrows raised in surprised. "Lewis? What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"Waiting for you, obviously." Darcy rolls her eyes, but grins at him nonetheless. "Now come here. Hurry." She retreats into her apartment and Steve follows seconds later. After the door's shut behind him, Steve steps further into her familiar domain and finds her rummaging through a small wicker basket. "So you know how Bucky likes to take relaxing baths after his run? Well I need you to drop this in his bath when he's all sleepy and compliant in that warm bath water of his."

As she turns to face him with her hand outstretched, Steve glances down to see a silver, shimmery star in the palm of her hand. "Um. What's that?"

"Bath bomb," she shrugs. "After the thieving of my coupons and weeks of living on a tight budget, I think your bestie deserves to look.. fabulous. Don't you think?"

Steve takes the star and chuckles. "You've never actually forgiven him, have you?"

"A budget, Steve. A _budget_! I had to live without my Ho-Ho's for weeks!"

"Mhm." Steve closes his fingers around the star and glances up at her. "And if I do this, what do I get in return?" He's the picture of innocence as he asks, but Darcy knows better. He's as much of a little shit as his friend. "I can't betray my best friend for nothing, doll."

Darcy crosses her arms over her chest and purses her lips in contemplation. Her hip juts out to one side and she sighs in resignation. "I'll make those raspberry thumbprint cookies you're so fond of."

"Deal!"

Beaming victoriously, Darcy reaches forward and squeezes Steve rather impressive bicep with a little shake. "You're the best, Rogers. Now get out of my apartment. You're sweaty and gross, and I need a few more hours of sleep before I start baking."

Taking her hand back, Darcy wipes her palm against her pajama clad leg and Steve laughs as he makes his retreat.

 **.xXx.**

Though Darcy tried her best to fall back asleep, her plans were dashed when the girls started blowing up her phone. They had apparently planned to have breakfast together, but not breakfast that they could eat at a diner or anything. No. They wanted to make breakfast and Darcy's apartment had been made the destination. So after crawling back out of bed and into the shower, Darcy's just made herself presentable when Natasha, Jane and Maria are helping themselves through the front door without so much as a knock to announce their presence.

"Hey, Darce, Steve's friend is single, right?" Jane asks as she sets bags of groceries on the table. "He and Natasha kept giving each other the side-eye on the way up here."

"Barnes is back?" Darcy perks up, grinning. "Excellent."

Jane, Natasha and Maria pause in unloading their breakfast ingredients, Natasha's own gaze narrowing just the slightest. "What did you do? You're way too chipper about your supposed archenemy."

Darcy's lips twitch. "You'll just have to wait and see. And yes, Janie, robo-cop is single. Natasha is free to climb him like a tree, but only if Clint is truly out of the picture. I like Barton and I, maybe, like Barnes. I don't want to see either guy hurt."

Maria snorts. "Nat and Clint haven't been a thing for a while, Lewis. Clint's shacked up with a nice girl now."

"What? But he-"

"He's my best friend," Natasha grins. "We have history, both good and bad, and he's welcome in my life whenever," she shrugs. "Laura understands our closeness and has even started to spend some time with me. I've introduced her to Maria and was working my way up to you and Jane."

Jane brightens. "Does that mean we'll have a fifth for Ladies Night?"

"Yes. Clint's kind of bummed, though. He knows how legendary our nights tend to get and is quite jealous he won't be part of them."

As Jane and Maria fall into their own conversation about Laura and introductions, Natasha sidles up to Darcy with a small smile. "You really didn't know Clint and I were done?"

She shakes her head. "No. He's always around, so I just figured you guys were on a good streak."

"We work better as friends. We finally admitted it to ourselves and during that last break of ours, Clint met Laura. She's really sweet. You'll like her."

Darcy rolls her eyes and nudges Natasha with her elbow. "Of course I will. Clint has excellent taste in women."

Conversation picks back up between the four of them as they start prepping ingredients for breakfast, and Darcy's pulled from the prep when her phone's text message alert goes off. No one utters a word as Darcy gets sidetracked, she picking up her phone and swiping through the alert. The message there brings a smile to her face.

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _The bath bomb has been dropped. I repeat, the bath bomb has been dropped._

 **To Steve: From Darcy.**  
 _How did you manage it? Didn't he question the bubbling?_

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _He did. Told him it was some new muscle relaxing compound._  
 _He sunk deep enough to submerge his hair after that._

The mental picture of Steve standing over the tub while Bucky was submerged beneath the water brought a pretty blush to her cheeks, but she quickly chastised herself and mentally scrubbed the picture from her mind. The two of them were the best of friends, friends since they were in diapers apparently, and they were quite comfortable around one another. There was totally nothing dirty about it.

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _You gonna protect me when he tries to murder me, sweetheart?_  
 _After all, I am doing your bidding._

 **To Steve: From Darcy.**  
 _In exchange for cookies, Steven!_

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _Hmm. I don't know. I think the price needs to be higher._

 **To Steve: From Darcy.**  
 _The deed's been done. You should have negotiated before you betrayed your bestie._

Her phone is silent for a few minutes, just long enough to think that Steve got sidetracked, but before she can start helping with breakfast again, her phone pings in hand.

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _Have coffee with me. A date._  
 _Or not a date. Just.. coffee with a friend..?_

Darcy's eyes widen as she reads the message over and over. She's had a ridiculous crush on Steve ever since she moved in and he offered to help bring up her furniture, but she never had the nerve to make the first move. Steve, too, sometimes seemed like he was into her, but he never made a move and the two had been dancing around each other for quite some time now.

"Why are you all flustered?" Jane suddenly asks. "And staring at your phone as if you've just seen a ghost."

"I- I think-" She stammers and garners the other two women's attention as well. "I think Steve just asked me out on a date."

"Finally," Natasha huffs. "We were this close," she says, indicating just how close with her thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart, "to locking the two of you in a closet somewhere."

Darcy's squawks. "What?!"

Jane nods. "You two are the most oblivious idiots. You should just skip the date and bone already. The _ust_ is real with you two."

Darcy opens her mouth to respond, but her phone pinging again draws her attention.

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _I just made it weird, didn't I?_  
 _You know what, just forget I asked._

 **To Steve: From Darcy.**  
 _No! Sorry, I just-_  
 _I was shocked. I didn't think you'd want to go on a date with me, but yes._  
 _I'll go on a date with you._

 **From Steve: To Darcy.**  
 _Great! I'll text you later when and where._

Feeling content and a little over excited now, Darcy doesn't bother to reply. Instead, she looks up and is met with three different smug smiles. "Shutup and get to cooking. I'm starving!"

 **.xXx.**

Darcy and the girls are cleaning up the kitchen after the mess they made when the apartment door can be heard being opened, all four women freezing and determining whether or not there is any danger when a towel clad Bucky- still dripping water from his hair and every rippling muscle- stomps into the kitchen, and a silently laughing Steve trailing after him. The dark haired, towel clad body has a moment of shock at four gazes staring at him instead of one- he not knowing the women from earlier were friends of Darcy- but at the sight of Darcy, his anger seeps back in.

"Lewis! What. The. Hell?!" Darcy snorts, eyes twinkling with laughter as her friends finally relax. "There's glitter.. _everywhere!_ "

"That's the point, Buck-o. Glitter bath bomb. You're welcome." His eyes widen and his body tenses- his flesh hand gripping the ends of the towel together at his hip- when he notices a leering gazes sweeping up and down his body. "How'd you find out it was me?" She then asks.

Bucky gulps and manages to divert his gaze from the redhead. "Stevie's a shit liar. Didn't take me long to figure it out." Darcy finally laughs, she clapping a hand over her mouth. "How'd 'ya do it? How'd 'ya get the jerk to betray me like that?"

"Cookies, Barnes. Raspberry thumbprint cookies and don't even pretend you don't like the sparkles. You look fabulous." His muscles twitch and flex at her words, and she rolls her eyes at the movement. "Go get dressed, you goober. You're testing Nat's will to not take advantage of a scantily clad man. A scantily clad man, who I might add, has caught her interest. Now go!"

Darcy points back towards her door, her lips twitching as Bucky eyes Nat one last time before beating a hasty retreat. Steve takes his time, however, and smiles beautifully at her. "How about we change that coffee date to a dinner date? Say seven tonight?"

"Seven's fine, Steve. Now go keep an eye on Barnes, please. You gotta keep me in the loop so I'll know if there's any retaliation in my near future."

The beautiful smiles melts into a teasing smirk. "Oh, doll. You have no idea what you just started, do you? Buck's a pranking fiend. It's best to sleep with one eye open from now on."

Darcy's head falls back with a groan. "Fudge.. my life."

* * *

 **I guess it's safe to say that Laura started joining in on Ladies Night, Nat and Bucky became a thing after Steve and Darcy made it official, and Darcy and Bucky entered the Prank War of 2017 that they're sure everyone's future grandbabies will be talking about.**


	2. Mowed Over

_**Prompt** : You're mowing your lawn at 5AM and that is completely unacceptable and I'm going over to your house to yell at you about how unacceptable this is AU  
 **Characters** : Darcy Lewis, Elena Rodriguez aka YoYo (AoS), Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers  
 **Tags** : Female Friendship, Female - Male Friendship, Humor, Agent!Darcy, Agent in Training, Steve & Bucky Are Together (If You Squint)  
_

Joining SHIELD after SHIELD had miraculously risen from the ashes, and had enough sway with the public to bring Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes back into the States without having cuffs slapped on their wrists was probably the best decision Darcy has ever made.

Moving into the secret SHIELD neighborhood community, however, was possibly her worst decision ever made. But only after, you know, living there for months before the new SHIELD Director decided to give her neighbors of the super-soldier variety.

"I swear to Thor, Yo-Yo, if you don't stop ogling them I'm going to tell Mack-Attack about this. You know how moody he gets when your eyes wander."

The Latina Inhuman sighs wistfully. " _Pero son tan guapos_."

"Yes, I know they're handsome." Darcy's lips twitch. "And I also know that besides being hella lethal, they're hella smart, Yo-Yo. Enhanced, too, which means they can probably hear our little back and forth right now, and also understand what you're saying since Barnes speaks like a million different languages."

"Sixteen, actually," said man yells from across the street.

Darcy groans as her friend chokes on a laugh, she weakly waving at the two super-soldiers who are now staring at them as they drink lemonade on their porch. "Three days. They've been my neighbors for three days and already we're the weird neighbors who can't keep it in their pants."

"Speak for yourself," Elena continues to chuckle. "I've got Mack back at base. You're all alone in that big bed of yours." Darcy's eyes widen as her friend waggles her eyebrows while gesturing across the street. "Maybe one or both will help you warm your bed."

"Shutup!" She hisses. "That's not funny."

"It is a little!" They hear, again, from across the street.

"No one's talking to you, old man!" Darcy immediately retorts, eyes narrowing at Barnes since Rogers has his face planted in one hand as his shoulders presumably shake with laughter.

" _Tan lindo,_ " Elena coos.

Darcy's head falls back with a groan even as her friend cackles, she shooing her off back to base before doing something drastic.

* * *

Having super-soldiers for neighbors loses it's shine nearly two weeks in. While both men are ridiculously handsome as Yo-Yo pointed out before, Darcy knew there had to be a flaw somewhere in there and nearly two weeks later she's found it.

Having spent all morning _and_ day training with Agent Johnson under Agent May's watchful eye, Darcy is relieved to be home. One soothing hot bath, and a pizza and three beers later, she falls into a deep sleep without much trouble. At least, she was enjoying a deep sleep until the motor of a lawn mower started up.

Her eyes snap open and after taking a moment to realize that _yes, someone is cutting their grass while it's apparently still dark out_ , Darcy's gaze darts to the dim red numbers on her night stand. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," she mumbles.

The lawn mower shows no signs of stopping anytime soon and Darcy frantically kicks off the sheet that had tangled around her legs. She stomps over to her window and sure enough, James- _Motherfucking_ -Barnes is walking up and down his lawn with the monstrous machine that lets no one sleep.

Mindful of their other neighbors- _because Darcy is a great neighbor, dammit!_ \- she doesn't bother screaming her head off from the second story of her home. Instead, she whirls around and marches out of her bedroom and down her stairs. She completely bypasses putting on any shoes and temporarily forgets that she's wearing a very small pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. She only realizes her mistake when she feels a breeze caress every inch of visible skin, but by then she's already halfway across the street.

When Bucky catches sight of her, he slows to a stop and releases the little bar atop the handle to let the motor cut out. "It's five in the morning, you imbecile! This is completely unacceptable and very un-neighborly!" Darcy shouts, hands planted on her hips as she stops halfway up his sidewalk.

Bucky, the jerk, merely smirks as he takes in her attire. "Sorry, doll. Our internal clocks have always run earlier than most."

Darcy gulps as he clearly looks her up and down. "O-our?" The front door to Bucky's home creaks open and Steve steps out, completely wide awake and dressed as if ready to take on the day. "You're both heathens," she grumbles. "It's sleepy-time, boys. Knock this shit off," she then says while pointing at Bucky and the lawn mower sitting innocently before him.

"Yes, ma'am," Steve tells her. "Sorry about waking you, agent Lewis."

"You're forgiven, soldier." Steve practically beams at her and she nervously fidgets before directing her ire at it's rightful target. "Your boyfriend, however, is not."

Bucky chuckles. "Aw, Lewis, you wound me."

"I'll do more than wound you if you decide to mow your lawn again when I'm sleeping. Seriously, Barnes, you could have at least waited until the sun came up. Or better yet, mow the damn lawn when you know I gotta be in early at base. At least then I'll be gone before you start. It's my day off, you jerk."

"Aye, aye, gorgeous," he winks at her. "No lawn maintenance on your days off."

Darcy glowers at him one last time before turning to march back to her own house, she grumbling beneath her breath all the while. "Stupid soldier-soldiers and their charming smiles. This is literal torture. What the hell was Director Mace thinking putting them next door to me?"

"He was probably thinkin' the same thing that pretty little friend of yours was sayin' before; that you needed someone to keep your bed warm at night." A pained grunt comes from Barnes and Darcy doesn't need to turn around to know that Rogers most likely jumped off the porch to slap his other half upside the head.

Darcy's closes her eyes and briefly pinches the bridge of her nose as she hits her sidewalk. "I'm going to kill Yo-Yo," she mumbles.

* * *

 **My Spanish is very limited. I'm talking like.. three or so words limited. Lol. I just found a handy-dandy online Spanish dictionary that translates sentences rather than one word at a time. Hopefully it's correct.**

 _ **Pero son tan guapos**_ \- But they're so handsome.  
 _ **Tan lindo**_ \- So cute.


	3. Odd Ones Out

_**Prompt** : I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night too AU  
 **Characters** : Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Clint Barton  
 **Tags** : Female - Male Friendship, Humor, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers  
_

If there's one thing Darcy **loves** about her apartment building, it's that the rent is surprisingly manageable for being in New York City. The pests are easily controlled by spraying medicine once every month and the plumbing is quite excellent. The thing she **doesn't** love is the fact that the neighboring building is maybe twenty feet away. Seriously, all she has to do is sit out on her fire escape and she has the perfect view into the living space of the window that is directly across from hers.

Fortunately for Darcy's neighbor, she's not a creep so she has no reason to stare. Unfortunately, the guy has a golden retriever that always manages to sit in the window whenever Darcy is out on the fire escape and she's befriended the dog long enough now that she's bought dog treats to toss through the window for the friendly dog whenever his owner is busy somewhere else in the apartment.

 **.xXx.**

"Darce, I love you, but do you really need to be doing Zumba? It's two in the morning."

The curvy brunette huffs as she continues to dance, her eyes narrowing on her rather petite friend that's stuffing her face with ice cream. "Shut it, Janey. Momma needs to keep her curves in check somehow."

"But Zumba?"

"More fun than hitting a gym."

"It's.. weird."

"Weird? Weird!" Darcy whisper-shouts. Seriously, she has to whisper-shout or else the people in the building next door can hear her if they're listening. "My neighbor was riding a unicycle the other night, Jane. A unicycle! The following night he was throwing flaming daggers at a target."

Jane perks up in her seat. "The guy with the arms? Lucky's owner?"

"Yes, Lucky's owner," Darcy scowls. Having had enough Zumba for the night, she stumbles over to her stereo and powers it off before plopping down on the other side of her couch. "He's a weirdo."

Jane snorts and eats another mouthful of ice cream. "You're a weirdo."

* * *

The following night after Darcy's hair is rolled up in rollers and secured with a piece of cloth, she paints on a purple facial mask. Idly sitting around has never been her strong suit, so she soon finds herself performing a few yoga poses to pass the time. But even yoga can't keep Darcy sane and she soon finds herself heading for the fire escape.

Situated outside, Darcy finds her mouth slowly falling agape when her gaze immediately falls on her neighbor's opened window. "What the.."

There appears to be a small photo shoot screening set up and poor little Lucky is dressed in a Stegosaurus costume. There are lights shining brightly down on the dog and Clint (the dude has a rowdy bunch of friends and apparently don't know how to use their inside voices which is how Darcy learned of his name) is snapping photo after photo.

Darcy snorts as Clint coos at his dog and Lucky perks up when he looks over his owner's shoulder and spots the lady who usually feeds him doggie treats. He immediately ignores Clint and trots towards the opened window, he jumping up and placing his front paws on the sill while barking twice.

"Hey there, Lucky. Who's a good boy?" She coos while blindly reaching in back through her window for the dog's treats.

Clint chooses that moment to turn around and see who's gotten his dog's attention and when he does, he yelps at the sight of Darcy and her purple face. "Do I wanna know why poor Lucky is dressed up in a dinosaur costume?" She asks, ignoring the fact that he screamed because of how she currently looks. Clint blinks owlishly, but before he can answer Darcy's already waving him off. "Nevermind. I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night, too. At least, that's what my best friend says," she says while gesturing to her face.

"Um. I guess," he mumbles.

"I'm Darcy, by the way. I've already been introduced to Lucky." She quickly tosses a treat towards the dog, easily making the distance so that all Lucky has to do is snap the treat from mid-air."

"Uh, Clint," he says, gesturing to himself before relaxing some and grinning down at his dog. "So you're the one whose been helping me feed the bottomless pit. I've been wondering where the half eaten dog treats kept coming from."

"Guilty. I couldn't help myself."

He laughs. "Clearly."

Darcy tosses another two treats to Lucky before putting the bag away and wiping her hands clean. "Well it's been real, neighbor. I should really get back inside and start removing my face. It was nice to officially meet you since, you know, I've known your name for quite some time already. Your friends really don't know how to talk like civilized beings."

"Yeah. Same to you, Lewis." Not having told her neighbor her last name, Darcy startles and her eyes narrow suspiciously. Clint merely smirks. "What? You think my friends are the only ones who can't control their voices? That big blonde dude really has no idea what an inside voice is, does he?"

Darcy's brow crinkles in confusion before realization dawns on her and she snorts. "And my friend calls us the weird ones."

"Pft!"

Grinning, the purple faced brunette bids goodbye to the dog owner photographing his costumed dog. Once inside her own apartment, it's Darcy's turn to scoff. "We're so not the weird ones."


	4. Meeting the Landlord

_**Prompt** : You greeted me in the strangest way this morning when I was getting my mail and we've been neighbors for like 3 years and this is the first time you've ever spoken to me I have no idea what is going on AU  
 **Characters** : Darcy Lewis/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, Luis (Ant-Man), mentions Other Avengers  
 **Tags** : Pre-Relationship, Humor, Friendship, Post - Civil War, Awkward Introduction, Bucky Has a Crush  
_

When Avenger turned against Avenger, Darcy suddenly found herself the owner of an apartment building in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. The building itself was four stories tall and housed only eight apartments, the structure having fire escapes on both the front and rear of the building. And given that there was a _mystery benefactor_ paying the taxes on the building, she decided to just go with the flow since she knew who had left the building in her care along with it's two other tenants and Pizza Dog.

Stark had soon seen the error of his ways by trusting General Ross when the arrogant man went after Dr. Foster and Darcy herself, he doing his best to protect the women when they put their foot down and refused to have anything to do with the Sokovia Accords. And then when Jane and Darcy started to warm back up to Stark, and even managed to get him and Pepper back on speaking terms, Stark did his best to clear his friends' names who were still hiding out in Wakanda. He even petitioned to have Barnes' name cleared, but refused to let the man anywhere within five hundred feet of his Tower.

Throughout this all, Darcy remained the owner and landlord of the apartment building. She was happy to see that Clint hardly charged the two single mothers anything to stay in the building, but everything came to a head when the plumbing started to act wonky. Not being handy with tools whatsoever, Darcy soon found herself at a crossroads. She nearly threw in the towel, but three men showed up out of the blue calling themselves the _Three Wombats_ and that a little birdy said they could stay rent-free if they helped out with the building's issues.

Though Luis talked her ear off, Darcy had never been more grateful for him, Dave and Kurt moving in.

Steve, Clint, Scott, Natasha and Wanda are soon free to return to the States without any repercussions. Bucky is free, too, but everyone who was close to the Avengers inner circle knew that Barnes was back in cryo until the Scientists in Wakanda could come up with a way to disable any lingering triggers in his mind.

Jane now comfortably works with Stark, Darcy works for Pepper on and off, Clint and Scott had left to spend time with their families, and Steve and Wanda are Darcy's two new tenants since the wounds with Stark are still too fresh.

A whole six months pass before Steve and Natasha are jetting back to Wakanda, the two of them coming back with a healthy Bucky in tow. He, too, is thrust under Darcy's roof, but she doesn't seem to mind especially since the only civilians living in the building (the two single mothers and their children) decided to move out a few weeks before.

* * *

"Stevie, who's the dame that Wanda's always heading to the roof with?"

Pausing mid-sketch, Steve looks to Bucky who's sitting in the opened doorway of their shared apartment. Since they knew everyone who lived in the building, Steve noticed that Bucky like to sit halfway in the hall and just watch as people went about their day. "Darce? You've never met Darce before?" Bucky shakes his head in a negative answer. "She's, uh, Pepper's assistant at SI." Still his friend has no idea what he's talking about. "Buck, she's our landlord," Steve chuckles. "How have you not met her before?"

"Kind of been stuck in my head since comin' home, punk. Didn't really think I was in the right mind set just yet to talk to a beautiful dame like her."

Steve smirks at his friend's back. "You think she's swell, huh?"

He shrugs. "She looks like she's got moxy."

"Oh yeah," Steve laughs. "She's got moxy all right. When you work up the nerve to finally talk to her, ask her about when she tased a Norse God."

* * *

Weeks turn into months and months turn into years. The Avengers knit themselves back together after the Accords are dissolved, but still things are tense between Tony, Steve and Bucky. Tony and Steve learn to set aside their personal feelings when on mission, but afterwards it's an awkward dance around each other once more.

Clint, along with the help of Scott and his Wombats secure the building like it's never been secured before. The top two apartments are where Steve, Bucky, and Darcy reside, and Cap's apartment becomes a little home base for Bucky to keep an eye on Ops from the comfort of his home thanks to a secret fund that Tony set aside to keep the building up and running when Darcy's mysterious funds started to run low.

Darcy stops in every now and then to see how things are going, but Bucky seems to curl in on himself whenever Darcy is around. She smiles shyly at him in greeting, no words are ever exchanged, and Steve just snorts whenever he catches the lingering looks from both oblivious parties.

 **.xXx.**

Darcy's standing at the wall of mailboxes as she decides what mail she needs to keep and what's junk mail that she can toss. The front door opens and Wanda rushes in with Pizza Dog in tow, she hip-checking the curvaceous brunette on her way towards the stairs.

"Get in all the doggie cuddles you can, Maximoff," Darcy grins. "Clint's taking him to the farm for the weekend. I heard Thing One and Thing Two miss their pet."

"Then I will go with," Wanda retorts over her shoulder. "I miss little Nate."

"I'm sure you do." As Wanda disappears upstairs, Darcy finishes ripping up the pieces of mail that she's going to trash. Then locking up her mailbox, she places everything in her messenger bag hanging off of one shoulder and heads for the stairs. Though before her foot can even hit the first step, a throat clearing behind her stalls her.

As Darcy turns around, she's met with the sight of Bucky- Bucky whose hair is tied back in a messy knot, dressed in a dark gray henley with it's sleeves pushed up to his elbows and jeans that hug his thighs almost illegally, and a tray of iced coffees in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other. "Miss Lewis," he greets her, his voice oddly cracking, "how are you this fine afternoon?"

Darcy raises her eyebrows at him and mentally chuckles as he winces after realizing his attempt at small talk was rather lame. "Barnes," she drawls, lips twitching in amusement though in the next moment her eyes are narrowing suspiciously. "We've been neighbors for like three years, dude, and this is the first time you've ever spoken to me. What's wrong?"

"I, uh, nothing!" He stammers, eyes wide. "Nothing. I just-"

"Yo, Dave!" A voice above them shouts, and both Darcy and Bucky glance up to see Luis leaning on the second floor railing as he looks at someone over his shoulder. The man really needed to work on his observation skills. "Mr. Roboto is finally talking to the bodacious beauty. Come check it out!"

Darcy's eyes quickly flicker towards Bucky to see him scowling upward and she snorts. Redirecting her attention back on Luis, she says, "Yo, Wombat!" His head quickly snaps down towards her and Dave appears next to him, looking down as well. "Keep being nosy like you are right now and I'll make you start paying rent."

His mouth drops open in shock. "You wouldn't!"

"I totally would," she smirks. "Find someone else to test out your eavesdropping skills on. Pronto, Señor."

Luis blinks at her before grinning flirtatiously. "Aye, aye, mamacita!" Both Luis and Dave salute Darcy before scrambling back into their apartment with a laugh, Darcy and Bucky only looking back at one another when they hear the Wombat's apartment door slam shut.

"So.."

"I got you coffee!" He blurts. "And pigs in a blanket..?" He says, nose wrinkling as if he's never had one before. "Stevie said you liked them."

Darcy blinks owlishly at him and then notices the subtle gulp as his adam's apple bobs nervously. His grip on the paper bag flexes and he shifts from foot to foot as he awaits whatever is about to come out of her mouth next. "You got me pigs in the blanket?" She asks, a smile slowly forming.

His head tilts in a rather curious manner. "Yes?"

"You.. are my favorite person ever!" She beams at him while reaching forward and grasping him by the wrist. His _metal_ wrist. "Now come on. Let's go listen in on Comms and see which country Clint gets banned from today. He still won't tell me what happened in Budapest."

Bucky can only follow as the beautiful dame drags him up several flights of stairs, eyes twinkling and the corner of his mouth quirking up in amusement as they pass the Wombat's apartment and Luis opens the door to flash him a thumb's up.


	5. Locked Out

_**Prompt** : It's like 3AM and my roommate locked me out of the house and I forgot my keys and I'm really drunk pls take pity on me and let me crash at your place for the night o' neighbor of mine AU  
 **Characters** : Darcy Lewis/Bruce Banner, Tony Stark_  
 _ **Tags** : Friendship, Humor, Pre-Relationship, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bruce and Tony are College Professors, Darcy is just a Hot Mess_

The New Year has officially been welcomed in and after hours of celebrating what everyone hopes is going to be a better year than the one they've just had, Darcy is done for the night. She knows she's well passed tipsy and into _if I don't stop soon, someone's going to end up having to hold my hair back_ territory, and the alcohol coursing through her system has made her sleepy enough to call it a night.

She's trudging up the stone steps to the brownstone apartment she shares with two college students (Darcy knows first hand how suck-ish the dorm situation can be, especially for a student from abroad, and took pity on a girl named Wanda and her hilariously annoying brother Pietro), and groans when she clasps the door handle in hand and tries to push her way inside.

It's locked. And knowing her roommates, it's Wanda who's locked up for the night given that Pietro was a notorious player and was most likely spending the night in someone else's bed.

"Nooo," she groans and whines a little while pawing at the door. So much for the sweet comfort of her bed.

And damn her sober self for not having the faintest idea to take her phone charger along with her and for leaving behind her house key. With no way of calling Wanda to open the door, Darcy can only huddle up on on the top step and pray that either Wanda wakes up and checks their doorstep or that Pietro shows up and opens the door for her.

She waits for what feels like hours, but is actually less than twenty minutes when she hears footsteps. Drowsily perking up, she's awake enough to see her neighbor- the college professor, she thinks- slowing to a stop at the bottom of the steps she's claimed for the night.

"Miss Lewis?" He calls out. "Are you okay?"

And, oh yeah, that's definitely Professor Banner. She'd recognize that voice anywhere, as well as the hair that was just a smidgen too long and curling at the ends. She'd had plenty of fantasies about this particular professor when she was a student herself, but thankfully she's a graduate now so it's not as weird. Or against any policy that could end up with her expelled or he fired.

"Hey, doc," she sleepily smiles and readjusts the skirt of dress. She'd admired the man once upon a time, but that doesn't mean she wants to scar the poor man. "What are you doing out so late? Don't you have papers to grade?"

Professor Banner chuckles and pulls a pair of thin-framed glasses from his jacket pocket, he fidgeting with them before absentmindedly wiping them with a small piece of cloth he's procured from somewhere. "Even professors are allowed to let loose once in a while, Miss Lewis."

Her lips twitch in amusement before her current predicament makes it way back to the forefront of her mind and she perks up a bit more. "Heya, doc, wanna do me a solid?"

Banner startles. "Excuse me?"

"A solid. Favor, 'ya know?"

"I'm well aware what it means, Miss Lewis. I was just-"

"Good," she blurts, effectively cutting him off. "'Cause in case you haven't noticed, it's passed three in the morning, my roommate's locked me out, I'm really drunk, so please.. please take pity on me, o'neighbor of mine. I need a place to crash for a few hours until Wanda wakes and unlocks the house."

"Oh. Um, okay..?" He cautiously agrees.

"Excellent." Darcy quickly scrambles to her feet, unknowingly flashing her panties to her ex-professor and stumbles down the steps. Banner is there to catch her, he blushing maddeningly when she beams up at him in thanks.

* * *

Darcy wakes to unwelcomed voices speaking above her.

"Bruce, you sly dog," someone teases. "Is that who I think it is?" There's a heavy sigh and then, "That Lewis girl, right? The one who always looked at you as if she were seconds away from climbing you like a tree?"

"Tony," Bruce heavily sighs. Again. And huh. Professor Stark is there, too. "No. Whatever you've concocted up in that brain of yours, just.. no. Nothing happened."

"She wearing your shirt says otherwise."

"She was drunk.. and locked out. I didn't want her to sleep in her dress. I've heard that's uncomfortable, so I gave her a shirt and she changed in the bathroom."

Tony roughly chuckles. "Brucie, Brucie, Brucie."

"For fuck's sake, man! Nothing happened." Darcy's had enough of her precious sleep being interrupted and pushes herself to sit up, she then turning around so she's facing the two elder men- one blushing and the other smugly grinning. "Not that I wouldn't be against it or anything," she says distractedly while waving in Bruce's general direction and then trying to smooth down her bed head as Tony cackles. "But, you know, like Professor Banner said.. I was drunk," she sheepishly shrugs. "There was no taking advantage of anyone last night, so shut up and let me go back to sleep."

Darcy plops herself face down on the pullout couch, letting Professor Stark's laughter wash over her. "Oh, Bruce, you're in way over your head."

There's an _oomph!_ of pain before Bruce mutters, "Shut up, Tony. And no, I'm not."

Smiling to herself, Darcy mentally vows that she and a certain Professor were going to have a talk after she'd gotten rid of her hangover.


	6. Do It For the Vine

_**Prompt** : You're a famous viner and I constantly witness you doing the weirdest things AU  
 **Characters** : Darcy Lewis/Clint Barton, Tony Stark  
_ _ **Tags** : Humor, Friendship, Clint's a Goober, Darcy Might Have a Crush, Pre-Relationship, But Only If You Squint_ _  
_

Before her current job as the Avengers' Social Media Manager, Darcy's only brush with the Avengers had been Thor. Of course, there had been Hawkeye who'd been on sight in New Mexico, but the agent never spoke a word to either Darcy or Jane when he was returning their belongings. And, in fact, Hawkeye became the last Avenger that Darcy had acquainted herself with.

A couple hours after Thor, Jane, Erik, Darcy and Ian had saved London from space elves, Jane and Erik had gotten the call from Tony Stark himself to round up their people and equipment, and head for New York. He gave Jane and Erik all the funding they could need along with their own lab space, and promised all sorts of fun shenanigans should they take him up on the offer. They agreed to head for New York as soon as possible, except for Ian who had too much in London to just leave behind, but then Thor came back and whisked away Jane which left Darcy and Erik to pack up everything and get it situated at the Tower themselves.

Funnily enough, Darcy bossing around Erik and the spare minions (people from the R&D floors) that Stark supplied was what caught Tony and Pepper Potts' attention. They watched in utter fascination as the 5'3 woman sat perched on a stool, slurping a purple Slurpee, and ordered the people around as if she were born to do just this. Foster's equipment had been handled to near perfection and when Jane returned a couple days later, she only had a few choice words about some of her equipment being in the wrong place.

Darcy spent the first few weeks transcribing Jane's notes, and wrangling Jane, Erik, Tony and Bruce. Having met two more Avengers didn't leave her as starstruck as she thought, and that only earned Pepper's interest even more. Even more so when Darcy met Steve and Natasha, and Darcy swooned over Natasha while barely batting an eye in Steve's direction. That earned a hearty chuckle from Cap himself and a sultry smirk from the Black Widow. Clint was only ever met in passing, he always half asleep or half doped up on painkillers because it seemed Hawkeye was quite the clumsy superhero.

Then having been caught quite a lot on various social media platforms and having a pun-off with Tony via Twitter officially sealed the deal in Pepper's mind, and the woman sought out Darcy to have her a part of SI's Team. Darcy didn't think she would fit in anywhere at SI unless it was someone's assistant, but when Pepper mentioned that the Avengers were being funded by SI and therefore SI had to make sure the Avengers stayed in line, she needed help with managing the team's social media interaction and Darcy seemed like a perfect fit.

So with the thought of having a paycheck for being on the internet, something she did all day anyway, Darcy agreed immediately and was trusted with emails and passwords to each Avenger's Twitter, tumblr, Facebook and anything else they had a profile on. Her main goal as their Social Media Manager was to clean up their presence on the internet and to _okay_ any future tweet or post, something which Tony wholeheartedly hated and tried getting around many times.

* * *

"Stop bustin' my balls, Lewis! It's just a measly little tweet!"

"You're trying to bait the President of the United States into a Twitter War, Tony. No."

Tony sighs in resignation and pouts. "Well it's not my fault that the cheeto is so easily manipulated online. And besides," he says, perking right back up, "you haven't said anything about Clint's secret Vine account! I know you know he's posting without your permission, Lewis."

She shrugs. "The videos are funny and they actually paint the Avengers in a decent light. Now the whole world knows just how normal you superheroes are when you're not saving the world."

"Are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you think he has lickable arms?"

Darcy squawks. "What?! No!"

"The pitch of your voice says otherwise," Tony grins. "Now get out of my labs, boobs. I gotta come up with another tweet to tweet the cheeto that's squatting in our White House."

The second Darcy turns and marches out the door, AC/DC blares from the speakers.

 **.xXx.**

Darcy's giggling over Hawkeye's newest Vine, snacking on a bowl of yogurt and fruit, when there's a groan behind her. "Aww, Vine, nooo." She whirls around on her stool, her gaze immediately drawn to biceps before settling on the rather worn, yet handsome, face of Clint Barton. He's pouting, staring at her phone and when he glances up at her, she cocks an eyebrow at him. "You weren't supposed to see those." He straightens his spine and juts out his chin a little, determination glinting in his eyes. "I'm not removing them. There's no take-backs once it's on the internet."

Her lips twitch and she smiles guiltily. "So you're a famous viner and I constantly witness you doing the weirdest things. I'm not going to kill your fun, bird brain. I actually quite like them."

Tension seems to leak from his frame, a rather charming smile tilting up the corner of his lips as he sticks out his hand. "Clint Barton, ma'am. I don't think we've had the official pleasure."

"Darcy Lewis and no, I don't think so either."

There's a lull in conversation and then his eyes are drawn back down to her phone. "So I take it you're a fan?"

"Oh yeah." Darcy laughs and goes back to her bowl of fruit as Clint walks around the kitchen island. "I think my favorite one so far is _How Many Scare-tactics Does It Take to Scare a Spider._ Natasha's bland stare into the camera after every tactic brings a smile to my face. That woman is my hero."

Clint chortles. "You and I are going to get along just fine, Lewis."


	7. Waterlogged

_**Prompt:** You live in the apartment above me and your water pipe burst and is flooding into my apartment and you can hear me yelling so you come down to my apartment to see what's going on and witness me standing in my kitchen/bathroom/whatever, holding an umbrella, screaming at the water pouring out of my ceiling and crying because I have no idea what to do and we both just kinda stand there in shock as my stuff gets ruined and you let me crash in your apartment until my apartment gets fixed because you feel bad AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy & Robbie Reyes_  
 _ **Tags:** Reluctant Friends, At Least On Robbie's Behalf, Humor, Darcy Might Have a Crush, Robbie/Ghost Rider Lived Murder-y Ever After, He/They Did Not Disappear As Shown On AOS, Post- Civil War_

After the Sokovia Accords made it's rounds to those closest to the (no longer together) Avengers, Darcy took her leave from the Big Apple. She didn't have the brains (like Jane, Tony and Bruce), she didn't have any skills sets (like Natasha, Clint and Steve) nor was she of royal alien blood (like Thor), so the Government had little care whether or not the caretaker of the most sought after Astrophysicist signed their little agreement.

Jane, of course, had blown off the Accords as nothing for her to worry about and just when their guards were down the Government came knocking for both her and Thor's cooperation, and the alien Prince was whisked way with his beloved without a warning. Darcy wasn't mad to have been left behind, but she was pissed when the Government kept her for twenty-four hours and spent sixteen of those hours interrogating her about Jane and Thor's whereabouts.

It was Tony who surprisingly sprung her from Ross' clutches and Tony who told her about a small secret branch of Stark Industries that was established in California should she need to get away and start over somewhere new. She didn't know if she could trust him and after seeing the suspicion in her gaze, Tony explained himself and his decision to work under/alongside Ross.

 _If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer_ he had told her. And yeah, okay that made some sense. It was better to have some input on their missions and save some civilians than have no input whatsoever and let everyone die.

And then two weeks later, Darcy finds herself now residing in East Los Angeles.

* * *

For several months already, Darcy's settled into a decent routine. The secret Stark Industries location was actually an underground facility that started to work against Ross and his Accords fairly quickly. She didn't mind the change in work load and actually looked forward to when a team that was backed up by Pepper Potts herself brought home the other half of the Avengers that were still in hiding.

And while she gets a nice paycheck that covers all of her bills plus some, she likes to- _as Tony would call it_ \- slum it in an apartment building that would be somewhat affordable by someone who didn't secretly have a secret bank account with a majority of her money.

The building itself was amazing and homey- _not to Tony's standards, apparently_ \- but Darcy loves her place. The building is clean, hardly ever has any problems and if there are some they're quickly fixed. She doesn't see much of her neighbors since her focus is more on her work, but the ones she has crossed paths with always receive a smile and wave in greeting. Even the surly ones who reside somewhere in the building receive a smile and wave, one in particular who Darcy has seen a couple of times pushing who she presumes is his brother in a wheelchair- a brother who is only too happy to return her kind gestures.

 **.xXx.**

Darcy's rearranging her apartment, and figuring out what's trash and what can be donated to make room for some newer items when there's a rather suspicious _**thump!**_ from above her head. She figures her upstairs neighbor likely dropped something and shrugs it off, and tries to figure out whether or not her couch is suitable for donation or if she should just trash it.

A couple hours pass by with she boxing up some items she knows for sure someone else would enjoy, and just when she's decided that she's going to go ahead and give away the couch to someone in need there's a rather curious _**tap! tap! tap!**_ coming from her living space. Brows furrowing, Darcy follows the sound and her eyes widen when she walks around her couch to see water dripping on her coffee table.

Darcy glances up and there's a huge water stain on the ceiling that's never been there before, and a small hole which the gathered water is dripping from. "Oh, come on!" She groans and rushes into the kitchen to grab up the biggest pot she owns.

After thrusting the pot under the leak, Darcy digs out her phone from her back pocket. She's scrolling through her contacts for the number of the maintenance man when there's an ominous creak from above her. Dread filling her, Darcy then glances up to see the ceiling now bulging slightly and jumps out of the way just in time as a piece of her ceiling crumbles onto her coffee table and couch. She yelps as a waterfall just pours into her home, her mind first immediately dawning on the fact that the couch she was going to donate is being soaked in water.

Darcy frantically grabs up an umbrella by the hall wall, she mentally praying that what she's about to do doesn't amount to any bad luck in the near future. She stands directly under the leak, allowing the water to bounce off the now opened umbrella and hit her other belongings while protecting the couch.

"You've got to be shitting me!" She yells to no one in particular as she watches the water soak through anything and everything. Her socks have been soaked through because her carpet is soaked through, and under the protection of the umbrella she tries her phone once more.

The maintenance man doesn't answer his phone and Darcy starts swearing up a storm. The water is just pouring through at an alarming rate and as the seconds tick on by, she starts to panic. She's not a very materialistic person, especially since she now has the money to replace what she's no doubt going to have to replace, but watching on as the water damages everything and her emergency call continues to go unanswered.. it's just- it's too much.

Tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and her breathing comes faster and faster until aggravated sobs pierce the air. "MOTHERFUCKER!" She yells at her cell. "IS IT TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!?"

She's too busy swearing up a storm at her cell phone in one hand, grasping tight to the umbrella handle in the other and keeping her couch relatively dry, and stifling agitated sobs that she doesn't hear the knock on her apartment door. She does, however, hear the crack of wood splintering and yelps when a man rushes into her place.

Darcy recognizes him, sort of, and the both of them just stand there- she in shock that someone's just broken into her place and he because she's sure she paints quite the picture standing there in the middle of her apartment under an umbrella with a major leak above her head.

"You okay?" He gruffly asks and for a moment, Darcy's distracted by the spattering of brown freckles along the bridge of his nose and cheekbones. He's one of the Reyes boys that lives directly above her, the grumpiest between the two, and the same guy that she might have gave lingering looks to whenever she saw him passing by in that black leather jacket of his.

She sniffles and shrugs while glancing up when the water suddenly cuts out. Startled, she hesitantly moves the umbrella and tosses it aside when there's no more leakage. Glancing up at the damaged ceiling and then at her waterlogged everything, she asks while pointing upward, "Your doing?"

The guy clears his throat. "Naw. My little brother Gabe heard a pipe burst under his feet before our sinks decided to pull an Exorcist on us. We got our mess cleaned up pretty fast, but I'm guessin' the water continued to collect beneath the floor. Looks like Gus the maintenance man got it handled, though."

"Yeah, but not fast enough," she mumbles sadly. "I'm gonna have to look for another place to stay while they fix the damage in here."

He doesn't say anything and as the silence stretches on, Darcy hesitantly meets his gaze and pushes out her bottom lip just a little while widening her eyes. She's not sure what the hell she's aiming for, but she watches several emotions war against one another across his rather handsome face and he eventually sighs. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and grimaces as the carpet squelches beneath his feet. "You, uh, if you're comfortable with sleepin' on a couch-"

"Yes, please, and thank you!" She immediately blurts and watches as Reyes tenses before gulping and nodding.

"I'm Robbie, by the way. I'm pretty sure you've talked to my brother Gabe once or twice."

"I have. And I'm Darcy, just so you know. Darcy Lewis," she smiles sheepishly.

Robbie shifts back slightly, his gaze now assessing and Darcy's gut instincts start to tingle. "Not the same Lewis girl that threw a tantrum over an iPod out in desert, are you?"

"H-How did-"

Something must have shown on her face or in her eyes (fear) and Robbie's quick to hold his hands up, palm out. "Got a friend in common," he quickly assures her. "That's all. I heard a couple of stories and yours stuck."

"Yeah? Well the only people who know of that are my best friend or SHIELD. You don't look like someone Janie would hang out with and SHIELD-"

"Coulson talked about you a lot. Still does. Sometimes."

Darcy's eyes widen. "Coulson? That sonnuvabitch is still alive?!"

This time, Robbie's eyes widen. "Was that.. not public knowledge?"

"No!" She yells and then takes a moment to calm herself. "SHIELD said-" and then she cuts herself off, brows furrowing and mouth snapping shut as she rethinks the words that were just about to tumble out of her mouth. She scoffs. "Of course _SHIELD_ said he was dead," she mumbles, annoyed. "Nothing but a bunch of jackbooted thugs is what they are. But why- why would he keep it a secret this long?"

Darcy looks to Robbie for an answer and he shrugs. "Look, chica, I don't know. I'm just a recent.. consultant that they've added to the team. It's been weeks since I had any contact with them and that's just fine with me. I gotta worry about Gabe now and could care less what that shady government agency is up to nowadays."

She huffs, but concedes. "Alright." A second passes and then, "Well if the offer still stands, I'd appreciate a place to crash while they fix up my apartment. I got a bunch of stories if you're interested. As far as I'm concerned, those NDA's I signed long ago were voided the moment SHIELD turned out to be mostly HYDRA and Rogers crashed the hellicarriers into the Triskelion."

"Uh, yeah. It's cool."

"Excellent." Darcy sighs and then takes a look around her place.

She more than a bit annoyed that she's going to have to sleep elsewhere for the time being, but on the other hand.. at least she got an introduction to the hottie upstairs.


	8. Misunderstandings

_**Prompt** : You keep borrowing shit from my tool shed without even asking AU_  
 _ **Characters** : Darcy Lewis/Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Heimdall, Sif_  
 _ **Tags** : Humor, Friendship, Pre-Relationship, Post-Civil War, The Realm of Asgard Adores Darcy, Bucky Is In Way Over His Head, Established Darcy/Asgard Connection, Established Darcy & Natasha Friendship_

When the Black Widow personally texts you and tells you shit's about to hit the fan and for you to lay low, you listen.

Darcy had been aware of the Sokovia Accords thanks to her surprising friendship with Natasha Romanoff, but after Jane had become too engrossed with her work and Darcy started to follow a path of her own, she had found herself less involved with the astrophysicist and didn't need to worry about being hunted down by the government to sign the ridiculous agreement. Thor and Natasha kept their connection to Darcy very hush-hush, which Darcy didn't mind since she wasn't particularly fond of their enemies coming after her.

But now something must have happened with the Accords and Natasha's stance on them because Darcy's given the coordinates to a safe house with instructions to not draw any attention, and that Natasha would contact her as soon as possible. And with Thor somewhere in Space, her best bet is do exactly as the Black Widow says.

* * *

For a couple months, Darcy keeps her head down and phone charged at all times. There's no use in watching the News because whatever they have to report is most likely going to paint her friends in a bad light, and she rather hear her information from the source herself. But Natasha's gone dark which means Darcy's gone dark. Sort of.

Boredom had set in pretty quickly and while Darcy couldn't exactly go out and about, she could stay home and spruce up the place with what's in storage. Only being inside started to make her stir-crazy, so Darcy stepped foot outside and realized the yard- front and back- could use some work. And since the houses on either side of the one she currently occupied were empty, Darcy didn't think it would be a problem for her to work outside.

There are no fences to show her the perimeter of her backyard, so she's cautious of entering the little shed out back and using the tools and supplies inside. But after the first week of not being yelled at, Darcy figures the shed also belongs to Natasha and uses what's inside to her heart's content.

 **.xXx.**

Darcy's digging through the shed, looking for a gas can to fuel up the lawn mower when someone clears their throat behind her. Startled, she whirls around and finds a dark skinned man standing just outside the shed, his arms at ease at his side. But since the sun is bright outside and behind him, Darcy can't clearly see his face.

"Hey, lil' mama, what are you doin' in here?" And yeah, while the tone of his voice was quite pleasing, the question came off a bit skeezy.

Darcy gulps and slowly stands out of her crouch, her mind whirling about reasons this man could be here. As far as she is concerned, the people who did live on the block kept to themselves and no one would have sought her out in the back yard of all places. "What am I doing here? W-What are _you_ doing here?" She asks. Her arms loosely cross over her chest briefly, she then letting them drop but keeping her hands together in front of her stomach. Her left hand immediately fiddles with the charm bracelet on her right wrist, the dangling charms being Widow's Bites in disguise.

He shrugs. "You keep borrowing shit from my tool shed without asking, so I thought I'd come out and see what's up."

 _His_ tool shed? But this was _Natasha's_ safe house and the houses on either side of hers were empty. Narrowing her eyes, Darcy's mind immediately jumps to HYDRA or Government goon and her fingers clasp around a Bite on her bracelet. "Funny," she deadpans. "Because as far as I'm concerned, this shed belongs to a fiery redhead."

The subtle intake of breath is noticeable and the moment he moves to take a step towards her, Darcy reacts. She rips free the Widow's Bite and tosses it at the man's shirt covered chest, the Bite sticking as he stumbles back in shock and electrocuting him. The man seizes and drops with a grunt, and Darcy doesn't bother to stick around.

Though the second she makes it a single step outside the shed, someone grasps her by the back of the neck. Her heart beats triple and fear floods her very being, she doing everything in her power to turn around and put up a fight against her attacker. But the grasp on her neck is too strong and the back of her knee is immediately kicked in so she's forced to her knees.

Her throat seems to swell with emotion before a sob claws free, the fear of dying urging her to use her last resort. Craning her neck just enough to get a glimpse of the sky, she brokenly yells, "HEIMDALL!"

"..what?" A rather raspy voice grunts behind her.

There's a split second where it's eerily quiet and then Darcy breathes a sigh of relief when the wind picks up out of nowhere and a blinding light envelops her, as well as those who had attacked her. This next part is what she hates the most, feeling weightless and zooming through a psychedelic rainbow portal through space even though the scenery is quite beautiful, but to keep from getting sick she has to clamp her eyes shut and wait until she feels solid ground beneath her.

When there's solid ground beneath her knees once more, Darcy opens her eyes to the familiar shimmery marble floor of Heimdall's golden observatory. She quickly looks up to find a man with shaggy hair and a missing arm gaping in shock, and his fallen compadre finally coming to with a groan. The shaggy haired man's wild-eyed gaze finally falls back on Darcy and she squeaks in terror before scrambling back to crawl up the golden steps of Heimdall's golden dais, and hides behind his legs.

The Gatekeeper of Asgard stands there, his hands grasped around the hilt of his sword that's encased in the Bifrost lock and stares down the two male Midgardians. "You dare to lay a hand upon the adopted lightning sister of Prince Thor and Princess of Asgard?" Heimdall's voice booms in the observatory.

"Golden boy say what now?" The man Darcy had tased clumsily stands to his feet, he having to grab onto the one-armed man for balance before being shrugged off with a grunt. Darcy stares at them, their faces somewhat familiar but at the same time not familiar, and she wracks her brain for answers. "Did you just mention Thor?" The dark skinned man then asks. "Thor's a friend. Sort of. He's friends with Captain America and we're," he gestures between himself and his friend, "are friends with Cap."

Darcy now shakily climbs to her feet and steps aside so the men can see her. "You guys know Steve? I know-" The sounds of a galloping horse cut her off and Darcy glances over the men's shoulder to see Sif in all her Asgardian glory coming straight for them. Her cape whips behind her as she leans forward and Darcy just knows that there's furious determination etched into her friend's features. "Um, Heimdall," Darcy then nervously glances up at him, "did you call for reinforcements?"

Heimdall hums. "I can't help it if the Lady Sif wishes to see her favorite Midgardian safe and sound. She hears all just as I see all." His lips quirk into the faintest of smiles and Darcy rolls her eyes.

She's quick to stumble down the steps of the dais, momentarily struck speechless as Sif enters the observatory with a furious yell and vaults off her horse right when she passes in front of Darcy. Sif lands proud and tall in front of her, she tossing back her cape that's covering her arms and produces a shield in one hand and a spear in the other that she twirls to elongate into a more deadlier weapon.

"Whoa, hey there, pretty warrior lady. We mean you no harm," the dark skinned man is quick to defend. "I think there's been a misunderstanding."

"Sif," Darcy gulps. "It's okay. They're allies of Thor."

Sif briefly glances over her shoulder, she then looking out towards to two Midgardian men. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. They know Steve," Darcy tells her and Sif hesitantly lowers her weapon.

"Yes, yes we do. The question now is, however, how do you do know Steve?"

Darcy blinks at the question and shrugs. "I don't. I know _of_ him, but my loyalties tend to lie with Natasha."

"Natalia?" The one-armed man finally speaks, brow furrowed. "You know her?"

"Uh, yeah, which is why I was staying at her safe house. Why were you there?"

"We," the dark skinned guy answers, "were staying at the safe house next door that Natasha assigned to us. We've been lying low since Cap's bestie here," he gestures to his companion, "got his noggin' somewhat fixed in Wakanda. I noticed you were creepin' in the tool shed and thought you were the enemy. Natasha didn't say anyone else was supposed to be there."

As his words slowly sink in, realization dawns on her as she looks towards the one-armed man. "You're Bucky Barnes," Darcy says in awe as said man fidgets from foot to foot and then she looks towards the other guy. "And you.. I don't know you."

Bucky snorts as his friend gasps in offense, and there's a quick introduction of Sam Wilson by the man himself. Darcy smirks at him briefly, eyes sparkling with mirth before falling back on Bucky. "So. Big misunderstanding then."

"Looks like," he tersely nods.

Sif rolls her eyes with a scoff. "You still laid a hand upon a Lady _and_ a Princess. Asgard does not take kindly to harm that falls upon one of their cherished."

"Lady?" Sam huffs, eyes raking over Darcy's scuffed sneakers, jean shorts, tank top and hair tied up in a messy knot. "Princess?" He then teases. "I don't know about all that."

Sif straightens with righteous anger even while Darcy chuckles. "You dare mock-"

"Chill, Sif," Darcy grins. "He's poking fun because I currently look like this." As Sif looks down at her side, Darcy gestures up and down to her Midgardian clothing. "He doesn't mean any harm by it."

"Then lets change that, shall we?"

As Sif holsters her weapon at her back and under her cape, she produces a silver circlet with a purple teardrop gem. "My lady," she smiles down at Darcy. "May I?"

"You may." Darcy laughs as she bows her head, there being no need for a bow since Sif is that much taller than her.

As the circlet is placed upon Darcy's head and nestled so the gem dangles right by her hairline, Sam and Bucky can only watch on in awe as Darcy's image wavers with magic washing over her. Her hair is still tied up, but the hair at the top of her head is smoothed straight and bumped up, almost giving off a mohawk vibe. Sleek waves tumble down and over her shoulders, but it's her clothing that has the most drastic change. Because gone is tank top and shorts and sneakers, and in their place is a gorgeous long lilac, v-neck sheer dress. It's sleeves are sheer lace with a black leaf-like pattern from shoulder to wrist. The leaf-like pattern also appears on the body of the dress, starting from just beneath her bust and flowing down to the small of her back, and the skirt hangs loosely from the waist on down.

"There is your Lady and Princess, Son of Wil," Sif beams. "Beautiful as always."

"Yes, she is." All gazes dart to the owner of the hushed voice whose gaze is raking up and down Darcy, Bucky's eyes then widening as the apples of his cheeks tinge pink when he's caught ogling her. He gulps, but doesn't deny his words or actions and Darcy smirks while winking at him.

"Thanks, Barnes."

Bucky's mouth opens and closes several times, and Sam chuckles while clapping his friend on the back. "Man, stop ogling. You're in way over your head with this one," he says while gesturing at Darcy standing next to her Asgardian friends and making plans to visit the palace before heading back home. "I'm pretty sure you're going to be acquainted with Thor's hammer pretty soon. And not in a friendly way either," he chuckles.


	9. When Worlds Collide

**Author's Note: So I tried to keep these ficlets all in the Marvel 'verse, but apparently that didn't happen. Oops. Also, instead of moving into a house, Darcy will be temporary "moving" into a motel room because of reasons. (Also I now have "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 stuck in my head o.O This song was my jam when I just a kid. I have my older siblings to thank for my taste in music).**

 _ **Prompt** : I just moved in next door and I'm like 99% sure you're insane AU_  
 _ **Characters** : Darcy Lewis, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester_  
 _ **Tags** : Agent!Darcy, Action, Humor_

For two years Darcy dedicated her life to training and becoming fit, fit enough to do Agent Coulson proud when Director Fury sought her out after finding the recommendation in his box. It took very little persuasion to agree to become a jackbooted thug, especially after the Director had promised to take care of all her loans she had currently owed. So after making sure Jane and Erik would be taken care of, because Aliens coming through a portal over New York messed up a lot of people, Darcy packed her things and basically put her life in the hands of SHIELD.

But then a majority of SHIELD had turned out to be lying liars who lie and Darcy bid farewell to her handy little SHIELD badge that she had only had for a few months. She spent weeks dodging the government looking to summon her to court and thanked her lucky stars that Stark swooped in to save the day. And after everyone seemed to pull themselves together after the fall of SHIELD, Natasha and Clint took Darcy in under their wing and continued to train with her. While she couldn't be an agent of SHIELD, she could be an agent within the Avengers ranks and go on undercover missions to gather intel since the Avengers were all too recognizable.

And as it turned out, Darcy flourished at being an agent under the Avengers' thumb.

* * *

"Extraction is at five in the morning?" Darcy asks, waving off the cabbie that's just dropped her off at the nearest decent motel. "Why do you hate me so much?" She then whines.

" _Suck it up, buttercup. You're an agent whose been used to waking up at the ass crack of dawn for how many years now?_ " Clint wonders over the phone.

"Shut up. I've been undercover for a week. I just want to sleep like the dead, jerk, and not wake up before the sun even rises."

" _Uh huh. Five AM, Darce. Don't be late_."

Darcy sighs some more as the call ends, she pocketing her phone and adjusting the strap of her duffel bag on her shoulder. She heads straight for the front office, her nose wrinkling as the smell of cigarette smoke that's permeated the air and hurriedly rents herself a room for twenty-four hours even though she'll be there less than twelve.

Key in hand, Darcy escapes outside and trudges towards her destined room. On her way there, two men climbing out of a shiny black Impala catch her eye. She's not a car person, but she knows the vehicle is a classic and is as pretty as the men who are now walking towards her though their attention is on one another. Both are tall and lean, one with short cropped hair and the other with hair layered just above his shoulders.

Had Darcy not been trained to take in every little detail possible, she'd have missed that the shorter of the two looks a little rough around the edges, his clothes rumpled and that there's a spot of blood near his temple that he's obviously missed. He's cradling one arm and apparently ranting, and the taller of the two is trying not to smirk in amusement.

"Freakin' werewolves, man." And wait, what?! Did he just say _werewolves_? Darcy tries not to stare, so her gaze is stuck on her feet as she walks. "I hate the day leading up to the full moon. They're crazy."

The taller guy laughs as Darcy walks by them, he lowering his voice as he answers but it's still loud enough for Darcy to hear. Especially since their rooms are apparently side-by-side. "They're territorial and we freed one of their toys. The hunt is going to be vicious tonight, so you better rest up and hope-"

Darcy's door swings open and she hurriedly steps inside, the men's voices muffling as a wall is put between them. _Werewolves, really?_ She scoffs as she drops her bag on a chair, she then digging through it for some clean clothes. She's hungry, sure, but being clean and the bed is calling her name. "I literally just moved in and already the neighbors are insane."

 **.xXx.**

Darcy is sprawled face down on the bed, her mind sluggishly waking. She groans as she feels the last tendrils of sleep evade her, her body becoming more alert when there's a _thump!_ followed by an even heavier _**thud!**_ from next door. Darcy pulls the gun from beneath her pillow on instinct, she rolling over and sitting up to aim towards the source of the noise.

Her room is obviously empty, but the strange noises are apparently coming from the room where the two men had entered earlier. She's about to write off the noises as enthusiastic sex noises- hey, to each their own- but a gunshot ringing out proves otherwise. Immediately Darcy's out of bed and rushing out the safety of her room, she finding the door next to her room wide open.

Darcy hesitates at the sound of animalistic growls and grunts, but she urges herself inside when yet another gunshot rings out. "I got this, I got this, I got this," she mumbles before raising her gun in both hands and entering the room. "What the hell is going on?!"

Later when Darcy looks back on this day, she'll laugh and mentally berate herself for not stating her name and rank within the Avengers Initiative. The two men she'd spotted earlier are sporting some gnarly looking claw marks on their arms and clothing, looking at her wide-eyed while there are two bodies on the floor with three others still standing and snarling. Darcy's eyes widen as she draws the attention of the snarling beasts, their eyes golden and slitted, and teeth sharper than Darcy's ever seen. "Aw, crap."

"What are you doing? Get out of here!" The short-haired guy yells.

"Dean! Get her out of here."

One of the- Darcy guesses they're werewolves from the two men's earlier discussion that's just now floated through to the forefront of her mind- werewolves lunges at the long-haired guy, the short-haired guy shouts, "Sammy!", and Darcy takes her shot. A single gunshot to the head drops the beast, though it still appears to be alive, and again all gazes turn to her.

"What?" She shrugs nervously. "I can hold my own."

The two standing beasts both lunge for Darcy now, the both of them being faster than the time it takes for Darcy to pull the trigger once more, and suddenly she's airborne. Darcy hits the right wall, barely registering the pain in her jaw where she was smacked or the claw mark on her forearm before more gunshots ring out around her. The two beasts land at her feet, riddled with bullet holes that are smoking.

"What the-"

"Silver. It's the only thing that can kill a werewolf. Or decapitation, but our machetes are still in our car."

Darcy gulps up at the two men staring at her warily, she shaking her head as she cautiously stands to her feet. She grimaces at the sting of pain in her arm, absentmindedly wiping her arm on the back of her tank top as she steps over the fallen bodies of the werewolves to put as much distance between her and them. "Werewolves," she mutters. "Of course they're real. Aliens, super soldiers, men in tin suits," she continues to rant. "Why not werewolves as well?" Her question goes unanswered and when she glances up, the two men are staring at her in amusement.

"You're taking this.. pretty well." Short-haired guy says.

"You as well," she retorts, eyes narrowing. "Why is that?"

"Uh. We're hunters," the long-haired guy answers. "This is kind of.. our job. Protecting people from things that go bump in the night," he says while gesturing to the dead monsters.

"Yeah, well, same here. Sort of," she says, shrugging. At their blank stares, she explains. "Agent Lewis with the Avenger Initiative," she says as a late introduction. The two men gape, not really knowing what to say and the silence goes on for so long that she starts to fidget. "You know what? Why don't you two cool it for a bit while I go get my phone and badge. I'm going to have to report what's happened tonight."

Darcy doesn't give them a chance to respond as she rushes out the room, she heading to her own room to grab up her phone off the charger and her badge from her duffel bag. She also pulls on a pair of jeans since she had only been in boy short underwear- and thank goodness the men hadn't brought her state of dress to attention- and heads back outside. However, as she exits her room, she notices a small group of people starting to crowd around the parking lot.

"Alright, alright, there's nothing to see here," she shouts so everyone can hear. Then holding up her badge, she lets it drop open for all to see. "Agent Lewis with the Avengers. I've got it all under control." A few flashes go off and Darcy mentally swears, she turning around and hurrying back into the room with the strange men. Shutting the door behind her, she scowls even as the men stare at her incredulously. "If any of those photos go viral, I'll never hear the end of it."

Darcy kicks out one of the chairs from the small kitchen table, she tossing her badge on the table and immediately typing away on her phone. From her peripheral, she sees someone pick her badge, but doesn't pay them any mind. At least, not until they start talking.

"Uh. So this is real. You really are with the Avengers?"

She glances up, meeting the gaze of the long-haired guy. "Yep. I was with SHIELD before they turned out to be big fat liars and then Stark just kind of swooped in and picked up all the agents he knew were SHIELD through and through."

The guy gulps. "Cool. I'm, uh, I'm Sam. That's my brother Dean," he then says while gesturing to his companion.

"Nice to meet you, I guess." Darcy goes back to her phone, typing some more before sighing. "You two so owe me for this," she grumbles. "Do you know how much paperwork this is going to be? I've never had to call in clean-up for.. werewolves. No one has. I'm not even sure there are forms for this."

"What exactly are you doing?" Sam finally asks.

"I'm telling my superiors to wake their asses up and come get me. My extraction team needs to get here as soon as possible because I cannot deal with this stuff right now."

"E-extraction team?" She glances up at Sam's stammering and finds Dean with his arms crossed over his chest and rolling his eyes behind his brother's back. "You- you wouldn't happen to be calling who I think you're calling, would you?"

Darcy looks at him, eyebrows raising as the fact that this grown ass man is quite the fanboy if his nervous stammering is anything to go by. But before she can say anything, her phone starts to ring and her attention is drawn to that. Seeing who's calling her, she sighs as she answers, "What do you want, Tony?"

" _Werewolves?! Pics or it didn't happen, Lewis_."

This time, not only does Sam seem awestruck, but Dean does as well. "My life," she says, shaking her head fondly while walking over to a dead werewolf and squatting next to it so she could snap a pic. "It just keeps getting weirder and weirder."


	10. Light-O-Rama

_**Summary** : Every year we both go all out for holiday decorating and we've developed this rivalry so intense that we're p much famous in our town for it  
 **Characters:** Darcy Lewis, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts_  
 _ **Tags:** Female-Male Friendship, Humor, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No powers_

Darcy's utterly exhausted, sprawled out on her couch and trying fuse with the cushions. The passed few days have been nothing but nonstop work, she boxing up her aunt's belongings and storing them in the basement for the time being while moving in her own furniture and appliances.

A knock at the front door rouses her and she groans as she reluctantly climbs to her feet. Then trudging to the front door, she instantly regrets answering the door with the way she looks when her gaze lands on the two most handsome men she's ever seen in her life. Both are tall, one blonde hair and blue eyed while the other was a brunette and blue eyed as well. While the blonde had hair cropped short atop his head, the brunette had longer hair that was tied back and a metal prosthetic left arm.

"Uh.. hi?" She mumbles, absentmindedly tucking a wayward lock of hair behind her ear. "Can I help you?"

Two sheepish smiles are directed at her and the blonde lifts a up a pie so Darcy can see. "Hi. We're, uh, we're some neighbors of yours," he says. "We just got back from vacation and heard about your aunt Muriel. We're really sorry for your loss."

Darcy forces a small grin. "Oh. Thanks." As she takes the offered pie, she gestures with her head and steps away from the door. "Would you like to come in?"

The two men share a look and the brunette shrugs. "Sure. Why not."

As they enter the room, they introduce themselves as Steve and Bucky, husband and husband. And while Darcy mentally scoffs about all the good ones either being taken or gay, she's a little relieved now because they won't care too much about her appearance.

A low whistle catches her attention and she glances over her shoulder at Bucky who's looking around in wonder. "You really did a number on this place, didn't 'ya? Muriel was a bit of a hoarder."

Darcy snorts. "Yeah. I didn't know her, but when I got the tour of this place I was blown away by all of her collected junk. It's all in the basement if you're interested. Take what you want."

"Wait, what?" Steve blurts.

As they enter the kitchen, Darcy sets the pie down and immediately pulls out bottled waters from the fridge to pass around before taking a seat at the table. "Kooky aunt Muriel never reached out to me," she shrugs. "I didn't know she even existed until after the funeral when her lawyer sought me out to hand over the house and stuff. She never reached out when my mother died or when I was sent to the orphanage, but since I'm the last of the Lewis line.. she apparently left me _everything._ "

Bucky leans forward in his seat. "When you say everything-" Steve smacks him upside the head and Darcy laughs.

"I mean everything," she tells them. "Apparently aunt Muriel was loaded. I seriously don't have to work for the rest of my life if I choose not to, but I'm not _that_ much of a free-loader. I just gotta find my groove here in a neighborhood that I don't belong in."

Steve smiles sadly at her. "Don't stress. You'll find your groove soon enough. When Buck and I first moved in, people were kind of cold towards us because we're gay. But Muriel- Muriel accepted us right away. So whether you knew her or not, you have our condolences. She was a great lady."

"And we'll be glad to go through her things when we have the time," Bucky muses and then dodges his husband's swat. "Muriel was one crazy lady and there's a lamp or two I saw that I liked when I came over to help her with a few things a while back."

Darcy laughs some more as Steve scowls at his husband. "Name the time and place, man. You're welcome to snoop. Especially if I ever need a handy-man in the future and I can call you up or something."

After a good hour or so of Steve and Bucky sharing every memory of Muriel with Darcy so she can know who her aunt was, they finally give her the low down on their neighbors up and down the street. CEO of Stark Industries Pepper Potts and her husband Tony Stark live directly across from her, Professor Banner lives in the neighboring house to their right, and Steve and Bucky live in the house to the left of the Stark's. In the houses on either side of Darcy, one is a family of three and the other a family of five. Then down at the end of the turn-around, Natasha and her long time boyfriend Clint live next door to Daisy and Lincoln who are apparently a newly wedded couple.

They tell her which of their neighbors are bigoted and very opinionated, which of their neighbors are laid back and welcoming, and they tell her that she's welcome to their home whenever she feels like some company.

* * *

Darcy's first Halloween lets her know just what kind of neighborhood she now belongs to. No lights or decorations go up, with the exception of fake cobwebs on people's porch railings, and the trick-o-treaters go from door to door before the sun even sets.

Thanksgiving is spent with Bucky and Steve who've invited not only her but Clint and Natasha as well, and she gets to know two more people from her street. And it's after Thanksgiving that Darcy realizes how much of a fun sucker her street truly is.

"Why does everyone put up only white lights?" She asks one day as she and Bucky watch Steve sand down Darcy's kitchen table in the driveway. Apparently it had been atrocious and Steve just had to work on it.

Bucky shrugs and takes a drink of his ice cold beer. "It's kind of an unspoken agreement," he says. "With the exception of the Stark's. Sure they have white lights, but Tony usually puts up some red lights that line the inside of their windows. No one wants to annoy the richest and most influential couple on our block, so he's gotten away with it for as long as Stevie and I have been around."

"But it's so boring."

"Don't gotta convince me, doll. Stevie and I agree with 'ya on that, but we cause enough gossip just being who we are so we just go with the Christmas flow around here."

"But there's no neighborhood handbook that says we have to have only white lights, is there?"

Bucky's mid-drink when he glances at Darcy, one eyebrow raising as he gulps down his swig of beer. "No. There is not." Darcy seems to perk up some and Bucky chuckles. "So I see that mischief gene runs in the Lewis line. Muriel got the same look in her eye when she heard some rather homophobic remarks aimed at Stevie and I. So one day, just for the hell of it, Muriel placed seven netted lights on the hedges by the porch railing- each net a different color of the rainbow. She even flew a Pride flag during Pride month just to annoy the homophobes on our block."

Darcy gleefully laughs. "Every story I hear of aunt Muriel makes me wish I had known her. I guess I'm just going to have to keep reminding our block that a Lewis woman still occupies the home and be the odd one out on our street."

"I like the way you think, sweetheart. If you need help, we're just across the street."

 **.xXx.**

True to Darcy's word, she does make her house stand out. She manages to find white curtain lights that she purchases for every window of her home, but the rest of the lights are multi-colored. She even buys a few inflatables just for the hell of it, and Steve and Bucky are only too happy to climb the ladder for her to string up her multi-colored icicle lights along the top of her home.

She places what appears to be clear candy canes up and down the sidewalk and the little walkway up to her front porch, her two new best friends cackling when she turns them on and they see each one is a solid color and that there's a rainbow of candy canes on Darcy's lawn.

The inflatable Santa and Snowman sit on either side of a blow-up Snow Globe that houses the North Pole and swirling snow inside, and Darcy's only too happy to gesture her neighbors closer to the pretty inflatables when their children are delighted to see such things.

There are, of course, snobby women and scoffing men who talk about her _display of rebellion,_ but she merely lets their words go in one ear and out the other.

She spots Tony Stark one day standing in front of her home, he smirking as his wife Pepper stands at his side, pointing and cooing at Darcy's decorations. She steps outside to introduce herself since she's never had the opportunity and as soon as Tony spots her, he grins and waves her over. "You got balls, kid. I didn't think there was anyone other than me bold enough to stick it to the people around here."

Darcy chuckles. "Steve and Bucky have been telling me about my aunt. I wanted to keep her spirit alive around here somehow."

"Well you're doing that and then some," his wife says. "I'm Pepper, by the way, and this is Tony. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Darcy," she introduces herself. "And I kind of knew who you two were already. Steve and Bucky gave me low down on everyone."

"I like you, kid," Tony just plows right on, slinging an arm around his wife's shoulders. "You didn't immediately throw out knowing us because of our fame."

"Don't get me wrong, I follow what SI does in the News, but this.. this is home," she says, gesturing around her. "If I wanna fangirl, I'll save it for a gala or something. Home is where you're supposed to be comfortable and not worry about people falling at your feet because you're famous or whatever."

"Oohh, you're perfect," Pepper sighs. "Please never sell your home. I quite like you."

Darcy blushes and gulps, and Tony grins at her. "Don't worry. I don't plan on selling."

"Good. Because next year," Tony says. "It's on. You and me are going to duke it out via Christmas lights. I can't let anyone out-do me. I'm Tony Stark."

Pepper's eyes roll fondly. "Of course you are, honey. Now come on. Let's get home and let Darcy get back to whatever she was doing before."

Darcy laughs some more as Pepper drags Tony back across the street, Darcy actually not getting to go back inside as two other people walk up and introduce themselves. Daisy and Lincoln are quite the breath of fresh air, the two of them closer to Darcy's age than anyone else down their street, and Darcy's only to happy to take their goofy pictures with her Christmas inflatables.

* * *

Darcy's still drifting about, not quite sure what to do with her life, but her new friends tell her not to sweat it.

Daisy and Lincoln spend most of their time with Darcy after realizing how young she was, and it's during their time spent together that Darcy realizes Daisy is excellent at coding on her laptop and that Lincoln is a certified Electrician. And one day while spending her time watching random videos on Youtube, Darcy comes across Christmas light shows- lights that flash and blink along to music.

"I know what I'm going to do this year," Darcy tells Steve one day, she having informed Steve and Bucky of Tony's Christmas challenge. "It's going to be a Light-O-Rama!"

"A Light-O-what?"

But Darcy's already lost in her thoughts, she clicking through website after website and trying to find the perfect lights, and texting Lincoln and Daisy for help when she realizes she can't set up the lights all on her own.

 **.xXx.**

Daisy and Lincoln work hard to help Darcy with what she wants, they figuring out how everything was to be placed and plugged in so they could work quickly after Thanksgiving. Several people side-eyed Darcy yet again when they saw the lights during their _testing phase,_ Darcy only ever letting Lincoln light up her house when Tony and Pepper were at work.

She doesn't bring out the inflatables this year, but three poles of various sizes do go up in their place and she drapes lights from the very top of each pole to the ground to create Christmas trees. The multi-colored candy canes are back out once again and net lights are placed on the hedges by the porch railing. The curtain lights are back up again and a cheesy plastic Santa with his sleigh and reindeer is added to her roof. And instead of the multi-colored icicle lights, they're now a solid white-blue that line the roof of her home.

"Why do I have a feeling that your display is better than mine again, Lewis?"

Darcy, Lincoln, Daisy, Steve and Bucky all tense before turning around, Darcy laughing at Stark's suspicious gaze. It's still two weeks before Christmas and Darcy has yet to turn on her display, but the Stark's _Merry Christmas_ yard sign has been lit up since the day after Thanksgiving. The red lights have bled outside to wrap around the porch banisters and their own icicle lights fade from red to yellow.

"Whatever. I will admit defeat this year, but only because Pepper kept me reigned in. I couldn't go as flashy as I wanted."

"Aw, Stark, you're cute," Darcy coos. "Now come stand with us and behold Daisy and Lincoln's magnificent work. I totally kicked your ass this year in the neighborly challenge of yours."

"Yeah, yeah. Get on with it."

The sky has now darkened just enough and Daisy eagerly holds her laptop. At Darcy's nod, Daisy hits a few buttons and the familiar tune of "Carol of the Bells" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra starts to play aloud from hidden speakers, but not too loud to have the cops called on her for disturbing the peace. The decorations flash and light up in sync with the music, and Darcy's friends _ooh_ and _aww._

"Dammit," Tony grumbles once the show is finished. "I would have lost either way. Why didn't I think of lights dancing to music? Music is my thing!"

"Apparently not," Bucky teases. "Better watch out, Stark. The Lewis Household has outdone the Stark household twice in a row now."

Tony scowls. "Keep it up, Tin Man, and I'll tell Pepper who it was that flamingo'd our lawn. She still rants about those tacky birds, 'ya know."

Steve chuckles as his husband tenses. "You wouldn't?"

"I would. It'd be spectacular to see Pepper rip you a new one."

* * *

By the third year, Darcy's finally decided to finish her college education and enrolled herself in the nearest college to finally get her Political Science degree. Between her school schedule, school work and shifts down at the local coffee shop, she's too stressed out to do anything flashy for Christmas. She tells Stark as much, that she's not really up for a good 'ol Christmas challenge, and after seeing just how tired Darcy truly is he agrees not to gloat too much.

The friendlier neighbors have added more color to their houses this year, but not much. Professor Banner has added some green, Natasha and Clint have added some red and purple, Steve and Bucky have added some red and blue, and Lincoln and Daisy have added some yellow, blue and green.

Stark's _Merry Christmas_ sign has moved from the lawn to the roof of their house, and the red lights are still wrapped around the porch banisters. White curtain lights are strung up in their trees to give off a whimsical vibe and LED arches line the sidewalk up to their front steps.

Steve and Bucky manage to convince Darcy to put something up since the children seem to be rather excited about the _Lewis and Stark Light Off_ , and her multi-colored icicle lights get hung back up. White net lights are placed in the hedges and the inflatables are blown up and put back on display.

Though as Christmas nears and Darcy gets her well earned break, an idea strikes her. She gets the muscle combination of Steve and Bucky to help her after explaining her idea, and the two men accompany her in a rented moving van to various good will's in and around their town.

 **.xXx.**

"This is cheating, Lewis," Tony pouts as he walks up her driveway and around several sofa seats. "You said you weren't going to do anything flashy."

"This isn't flashy, Stark. It's.. it's relaxation. Fun for all those who want to take a chance and chill with kooky Muriel's niece."

"Are you kidding me? You got a popcorn cart popping popcorn just right there!" He points to the red cart, eyeing the treat and the ice chest of soft drinks just right next to it. "There's all these couches and love seats _in your driveway_ , and is that- is that a movie projector?!"

Darcy laughs as she finishes taping a large white sheet on her garage door. "Yep. We're starting off with _Elf_ and then _Jim Carrey's The Grinch That Stole Christmas_. After that, we're watching the cartoon Christmas classics."

"Dammit, Lewis. How did you even come up with this idea?"

She shrugs. "Saw it Facebook, but the lady was giving out hot dogs and had supplies to make gingerbread houses with the neighborhood children. I wanted to do something more relaxing with my new favorite people."

Tony sighs and plops down on one of the love seats. "Stop buttering me up. Who else is coming?"

"Well Steve and Bucky are bringing water for those who don't drink soda," she says. "Clint and Natasha are bringing Twizzlers and chocolate, and then Daisy and Lincoln are just bringing themselves," she laughs. "And come to think of it," Darcy suddenly muses, "I'm surprised you didn't know about movie night. I told Pepper a couple of nights ago and she said she'd be attending. I think she's actually picking up pizza as we speak."

Tony mockingly gasps, his hand flying to thump over his heart. "Betrayed by the wife! How rude."

"Uh huh. Anyway, I invited Professor Banner and another Professor I befriended at school- a Doctor Foster. She and her husband Thor have two eight year olds that they wanted to bring, but they weren't sure they were going to be able to make it."

"Pft. What kind of name is Thor?"

"Be nice. But yeah, that's all who I personally invited. I'm going to put up a sign in a bit that welcomes any of the other neighbors. I'm not a total monster to tease the neighborhood kids with Christmas movies and treats, and then not invite them."

Tony chuckles. "You're a good egg, Lewis. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

* * *

As Christmas sneaks up on Darcy the fourth year, she's in no state of mind to compete with Tony. She had become too wrapped up in her boyfriend that she had started dating just after Valentine's Day and had started to distance herself from her friends. No one held it against her when they didn't see her as often, though Tony did snark at her whenever he caught her coming home, but she always laughed it off. Then the boyfriend had to go and cheat on her right before Thanksgiving time, and play games with her heart and mind for a couple weeks which left her in no state to playfully challenge Tony to yet another Christmas Light-Off.

Bucky, Steve and Daisy were there to help Darcy piece back together her heart and self confidence, and she slowly gets back into the groove of things. It's too late to do anything too grand with what Christmas decorations she does have, but an idea does strike her the night before Christmas Eve and she works all through the night to complete it.

It's a simple arrow sign that's larger than Darcy herself, but she only plans to take it out to her yard after the sun's set. Then when all the lights start coming on up and down the street, Darcy hurriedly plants the sign in her front yard, angling it towards the Stark's magnificent Christmas display. Once plugged in, the word _DITTO_ is bright for all to see. Work then done, she heads inside and waits to see everyone's reaction.

And she's not let down when not even ten minutes later, her phone's blowing up with text messages from all her friends.

 _ **Steve:** There's the Darce we've all come to love. Glad to see you're feeling like your usual self again._

 _ **Bucky:** Doll, I have no words. The sign is simple, yet hilarious. I can't wait to hear Stark start ranting._

 _ **Clint:** Ur my hero!_

 _ **Daisy:** Lincoln says you're a genius & we're copying your sign whenever we get too lazy to decorate XD_

 _ **Natasha:** You're an idiot. I love the sign._

 _ **Pepper:** Oh my God! Thank you for this. Seeing Tony's face was priceless when he looked out the window. You just made my night, Darcy._

 _ **Tony:** Jesus Fuckin' Christ, Lewis! Stop saying you're not doing anything and then managing to one up me!_

Smiling and cackling to herself, Darcy then takes the time to reply to each of her friends. She might have once thought that she'd never fit in, in such a neighborhood, but boy was she wrong. She fits in just fine.


	11. Spencer's Academy

**Author's Note:** For Darcy's daughter, the face claim I pictured was Dafne Keen. For Steve's daughter, the face claim I pictured was a young Elle Fanning. You're welcome.

 _ **Prompt:** We're both single parents and our kids are best friends with each other AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Jane Foster, Bucky Barnes_  
 _ **Tags:** Alternate Universe- No Powers, Pre-Relationship, Friendship, Bucky Is a Principal, Humor_

Darcy's in the middle of transcribing various sets of notes for the Scientists on the floor she manages when her phone rings. She's in absolutely no hurry to finish what she's started since her boss is usually lax because she always gets her work done by the end of the day no matter what, but a sudden phone call from her child's school in the middle of the day has her on edge.

Briefly excusing herself from the lab, Darcy takes the call outside in the hall. "Hello?" She answers.

" _Miss Lewis? Hi, this is Miss Bennett from Spencer's Academy_."

"Good afternoon, Miss Bennett," she greets the Principal's secretary politely. "What can I do for you today?"

" _Well it's come to our attention that there's been a slight physical altercation between several students-_ "

Immediately, Darcy tenses. "Payton's been in a fight? How- what?! Is she okay?"

Miss Bennett is startled quiet, she then saying, " _Every student involved are a little.. roughed up, but all ten fingers and ten toes have been accounted for._ " Darcy wants to scoff at her attempt to lighten the mood, but she knows and likes Miss Bennett, and doesn't want to put the woman in an uncomfortable situation. " _Anyway, I was just calling to inform you of the incident and that Principal Barnes would like to meet with you as soon as possible_."

"Of course. Is now an appropriate time?"

" _Yes, if you can make it. We weren't sure of how flexible your work schedule was, so we didn't want to assume_ -"

"It's fine," Darcy cuts her off yet again. "Let me just tell my boss that I'm needed down at the school and she'll understand."

" _Okay. We'll see you soon_."

Darcy pockets her phone, takes a deep breath and then enters the lab once more. "Janie?" She calls out. "I'm taking the rest of the day off. Payton got into a fight and I need to go meet with the Principal."

Something metallic crashes to the floor, and her best friend/boss slides out from underneath one of her machines. "Payton got into a fight? Did she win?"

Darcy sighs. "You and Nat are bad influences on my child. If I find out she was responsible for starting this scuffle, I'm cutting back on your guys' visitation rights."

"Hey!" Jane pouts. "You're the one who enrolled your own daughter in those self-defense classes with Miss Romanova. Don't punish me for Nat's superb teaching skills and my god-daughter's knack for quickly picking up new skills."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Let me go see what P's punishment is and I'll finish the notes later."

Jane waves her off. "Give my little scrapper a high five!" Darcy scowls at her and Jane quickly amends her statement. "Give my little scrapper a high five, but _only_ if she didn't start the fight."

"You're a terrible human being. I'm going to pick up my kid."

 **.xXx.**

When Darcy gets to the school, classes are still in session. She makes her way to the front office, waving at the receptionists there and making a beeline for the side room where the Principal's Assistant sits behind a desk and guards the door to said Principal's Office. There's only one other person in the room, a sandy brown haired guy with a too tight black Henley. He looks up when she enters and sighs a breathy, "Hello", to Miss Bennett and Darcy doesn't miss the brief look over he gives her.

She thanks her lucky stars that she's wearing her best skin-tight jeans, and a purple and red plaid shirt that has the top three buttons popped open. Her hair's pulled back and tied up in a ponytail since she'd been up in the labs, but she knows that she can rock the plaid and boots like no other.

"Please take a seat, Miss Lewis. Principal Barnes will be with you and Mr. Rogers shortly."

"Awesome," Darcy deadpans. Miss Bennett huffs a small laugh and Darcy makes her way to the row of chairs. Taking a seat that's two down from the apparent Mr. Rogers, Darcy manages to keep quiet for a minute before angling her body towards him. "So did your kid beat up my kid or my kid beat up yours?"

It takes a second for Mr. Rogers to realize he's being spoken to and when he does, his eyebrows raise in surprise. "Excuse me?"

She shrugs. "It's just that Miss Bennett said the Principal will be with us shortly, so I just assumed we'd be going in together. I'm sorry if-"

"Oh, no," he's quick to brush her apology off. "Don't be sorry. It's just, your question caught me off guard, is all."

"Oh." He smiles sheepishly and Darcy clicks her tongue as he falls quiet. Then not one to linger long in silence, she asks, "So do you know any more about this _slight physical altercation_?"

"Sorry, but I don't. I got a call from the Principal and he said my daughter Lucy got into a spot of trouble."

The name briefly startles Darcy, her mind working a mile a minute. "Lucy," she drawls. "Lucy _Rogers?_ " She then grins.

Mr. Roger frowns. "Uh, yeah?"

Darcy chuckles. "Two words; Payton Lewis."

His brows furrow for a moment and the realization dawns on him. Smiling slowly, he lets out a deep chuckle. "Our girls are best friends."

"Yep," Darcy says, popping the 'p'.

Mr. Rogers then shakes his head in amusement. "So then it's likely they fought together instead of each other."

"Yep," she says again.

It's Darcy's turn to shake her head in amusement while sticking her hand out in greeting. "I'm Darcy, by the way."

"Steve," he introduces himself.

"So, Steve," she drawls once the introductions are out of the way. "Are you the stern parent or the relaxed one? I need to know beforehand whether or not I need to work on my poker face because I gotta tell 'ya, man, little kids brawling is kind of hilarious and I'm not sure I can keep a straight face when we're talking to the Big Man behind the desk."

"I'm, uh, sort of both? Kind of have to be," he reluctantly admits with a hesitant smile.

Darcy stomach sinks. "Aw, crap. Don't tell me-"

"Lucy's mother passed away during child birth."

"Yep. I totally did," she sighs in resignation. "I totally stepped in it." Steve chuckles sadly and Darcy suddenly feels terrible that she's brought this up. Oh well, tit for tat, right? "Well, it won't make you feel any better, but I'm in the same boat. Kind of. Payton's father up and left when he realized just how much responsibility raising a child was going to be."

Steve grimaces. "I'm so-"

"Don't you dare," she cuts him off with a mock glare. "I'm the one who brought up this terribly sad topic, so there's no reason for you to apologize." His mouth snaps shut and a sheepish smile stretches across his lips once more. Silence falls between them and yet again, Darcy just can't keep quiet. "Wow. This totally takes the award for worst first impression ever." Steve keeps quiet and when Darcy glances at him, she finds that his face is hidden in his hands and that his shoulders are shaking with suppressed laughter. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, beardy McStevenson."

Miss Bennett's phone rings and she's quick to answer it, she speaking quietly into the receiver briefly. Once the receiver is set back in it's cradle, she turns to Steve and Darcy. "Principal Barnes will see you now."

As one, Steve and Darcy stand up. Steve's quick to open the door for Darcy and as they enter, Principal Barnes turns to greet them.

Hair slicked back, Principal Barnes is as handsome as she remembers, but right now her focus is her child and not the two most handsome men in the room (seriously, Barnes and Rogers were unbelievably attractive). Both children are seated in overly large cushioned chairs, one brunette little girl and the other blonde, and Darcy hurries to her own child while Steve does the same for his.

"Jesus Christ, P," Darcy sighs as she crouches in front of her daughter and takes in the split lip, the red-rimmed and puffy eyes, and the welt across one cheek. "What happened?" But all Payton does is stare up at her mother, the angry mute-ness reminding Darcy so much of her ex-lover and P's biological father.

"Luce?" Steve rasps. "You good?" His little girl's eyes shine with tears, her skin so fair that it looks like she's wearing a pink eye mask from where she'd been crying.

Neither child utter a single word, and Steve and Darcy share a quick look with one another.

"Children," Principal Barnes says, clearing his throat. "Which one of you would like to explain what happened first?" Immediately, Payton and Lucy start trying to speak over one another, the both of them turning sheepish as they quiet down and glance at one another. Barnes chuckles, "How about one at a time? Lucy?"

Lucy bites the corner of her bottom lip, sinking into her seat and nervously clutching the blue straps of her backpack on her shoulders. "Payton and I were sitting on the swings when Jack Jr. and Brendon started picking on Milton in the sandbox. Payton, she," Lucy pauses, lips twitching despite her shyness, "she told the boys to leave Milton alone and then they started teasing Milton _and_ Payton, and Payton.. she just-"

"I tackled those giant dillholes to the ground," Payton grumbles. Lucy giggles and Principal Barnes snorts, but as Steve and Darcy turn to glare at him, he's the perfect picture of innocence.

"Language, P," Darcy eventually sighs as she faces back to her child. "Now tell me what else happened?"

Payton shrugs, her stern little glare shooting daggers just over Darcy's shoulder and out the window. "They're your classic bullies, mom. They were picking on Milton because he likes to read Science books, just like his dad Dr. Banner, and I stood up for him because the Banner's are our friends."

"Okay," Darcy drawls. "But who threw the first punch, P? You don't get a split lip from tackling someone."

Lucy giggles again and Payton sighs with a roll of her eyes. "I did," she mumbles. "But Jack Jr. tugged on a piece of my hair first!" She's quick to defend her actions. "He tugged on my hair, so I tackled him and then punched him on his arm. And then Brendon jumped on my back and Lucy jumped on his. When Brendon shoved Lucy really hard and she hit her elbow on the side of the sandbox, I just- I got really angry and started punching and kicking. They just hit me back."

"Payton," Darcy groans. "I'm really glad you stood up for Milton, but you know violence isn't the answer."

"You do, too, missy," Steve finally speaks up, addressing his daughter. "I know you want to protect your friends, but Miss Lewis is right. Violence is not the answer."

Lucy looks more distraught of the two children, and before either parent can make their child feel worse (Lucy) or angrier (Payton), Principal Barnes speaks up. "Children, I thank you for your honesty. Now if you'll please excuse us, I'd like to have a few words with your parents."

Payton huffs, but stands nonetheless and Lucy immediately starts sniffling. Payton glares at the Principal as if it's all his fault Lucy's crying again and slings an arm around her friend's shoulders, letting Lucy lay her head on her shoulder. As the duo walk out, Steve and Darcy watch them rather fondly and then take the newly vacated seats to face the Principal.

Once the door is shut behind the girls, Principal Barnes immediately starts laughing. Darcy gapes at him and Steve sighs a long sigh. "Really, Buck?"

" _Buck?_ " Darcy asks, incredulously and Steve guiltily smiles.

"Best friends since the womb, apparently. He's also Luce's god father."

"And a damn good god father, too," Barnes muses. "But sometimes I gotta be the bad guy and separate my work life from my personal life."

Steve huffs and Darcy merely nods. "Okay? So what does this mean for the kids? Are we looking at in-school suspension or out-of-school suspension?"

Principal Barnes smirks. "Neither, actually."

"What?"

"Yeah. What?" Steve asks.

"I've reviewed the footage of the fight," Barnes shrugs. "The little Rollins and Rumlow brats got what they deserved."

Darcy's back to gaping and Steve snorts. "Rollins and Rumlow? Of course. They obviously take after their fathers."

Bucky's grimly nodding along, but Darcy's still stuck on the fact that her child is not being punished for starting a mini-brawl. "But if the kids get no punishment, they're just going to think fighting is okay."

"They, technically, didn't start the fight. Payton downplayed the fact that Jack Jr. _tugged_ on her hair. He didn't tug, he _yanked_ and it was hard enough to jerk her head to the side. Twice."

"That little bas- _dillhole!_ "

Barnes chuckles, but continues on. "Brendon encouraged it, so both those boys have been suspended for two days. Milton was let go scot-free and the girls just got their recess privileges taken away for two days, plus a verbal reprimand. So really, the girls deserve the rest of the day off. Take them to get some lunch and enjoy the weekend with your little asskickers."

"You're a menace for being my child's Principal," she deadpans, "but.. thanks. It's a relief to know P's not in serious trouble."

"Uh huh. Get the hell out of my office, Lewis, and take my bonehead of a best friend with you." Steve sighs at his friend's words. "And just FYI, Luce and Payton enjoy Chuck E. Cheese. Why don't you and Stevie take the girls and blow off some steam at Air Hockey or something?"

Principal Barnes' smirk is rather smug, too smug for such an innocent suggestion, and her suspicion only rises when she glances at Steve and sees him trying to sink down into his chair with the tips of his ears burning pink and shaking his head rather furiously at his best friend. "Are you- did you just try to suggest what I think you suggested?" She asks, looking back at Barnes.

"I don't know. What do you think I'm suggesting, Miss Lewis?"

She rolls her eyes. "You're a meddling dillhole, Principal Barnes, and I can't believe I trust you with the safety of my child five days out of the week." Standing up, Darcy fights off a smile and huffs at his smirk. She then glances at Steve and caves, letting a grin curve up the corners of her mouth. "Well, lets go, Rogers. Now I'm craving pizza and our little asskickers do deserve some sort of praise for sticking up for the little guy."

Startled, Steve stares up at Darcy as Barnes chuckles. She winks at him and then starts walking towards the door, letting her hips sway just a little more than usual as she feels the stares on her back. Just as she's opened the door, however, she can't help but overhear, "Hurry the hell up, Stevie. You don't keep a woman like that waiting."

And well, he's not wrong. Darcy waits for no man. Especially if he's keeping her from pizza and games.


	12. Poolside Eye-Candy

_**Prompt:** In which we live in a relatively rich neighborhood and during summers we obnoxiously sit in loungers, drinking lemonade, and ogle the cute pool boy together AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers_  
 _ **Tags:** Alternate Universe - No Powers, Humor, Friendship_

Summer has officially started and Darcy is excited for bikini season yet again. Well, mostly for bikini season. She doesn't have an in-ground pool, but her neighbor Natasha **does** and Natasha is the only person in her neighborhood that she can stand spending more than an hour with. And if Natasha's pool boy is one of the most dorky, handsome males she's ever laid eyes on, well then can you really blame her for being excited to ogle until her heart's content?

"I swear to God, Nat, he's going to figure out we lounge out here by the pool just to see his arms in action." Darcy settles down on her chair, stripping off her shirt and leaving her in a rather retro bikini. The shorts are high-waisted and the top's straps wrap around the back of her neck. And while the bikini top is plain white, the bottoms are a navy blue with small white polka dots.

The redhead in the plain sky blue bikini and sitting on the lounger next to her smirks, green eyes glittering as she seductively wraps her lips around the straw from her glass of lemonade that she's holding. Slowly sipping, she pulls away from the straw while watching her pool boy fish out leaves from the pool. "Oh, he knows," she chuckles.

As if he'd known they were talking about him, the pool boy- man, really- glances over his shoulder and sticks out his tongue in a childish display.

Only it's not that childish, not really, and Darcy finds herself grinning back at him and waving while Natasha hums in approval next to her. "You're so screwed," Darcy chuckles while watching him focus back on the task at hand. "I'm surprised you've lasted this long, honestly. He'd hop into your bed with just a snap of your fingers."

"You think?"

"Mhm. Do you even know his name?"

"James Barnes," Natasha sighs. "Goes by Bucky, though."

"Poor guy. You're gonna eat him alive."

"And he'll enjoy every second of it." Darcy gasps at the masculine voice that's just come from behind her, she leaning forward and turning around to find a guy standing there. Smiling rather ridiculously, he introduces himself. "Hi. I'm Steve."

"W-what..?"

Natasha grins as she glances at Darcy. "Did I forget to mention Bucky brought a friend? Steve, meet Darcy. Darcy, that's Steve. _You're welcome_."

Eyes widening, Darcy can feel the heat of embarrassment spreading across her face. "Wait, what?!"

Steve laughs and slowly zips out of his thin, black hoodie. "Buck said he had pretty ladies ogling him, but I didn't quite believe him. Thought they might've been old rich cougars." Darcy has a hard time not letting her gaze drop to newly exposed biceps as the hoodie comes off, Steve just standing there in a white tank top and board shorts, and a rather smug smile. "He asked me to tag along and even the playing field, and well.. now I'm more than glad I did."

"Fuck me," Darcy breathes out in awe.

Steve's smile only broadens even more. "Not on the first meeting, sweetheart."

Darcy practically chokes on air, she not realizing her words were audible, and watches as Steve walks away to join his friend by the pool's ledge.

"Classy, Lewis. Real classy."

Darcy's gaping mouth snaps shut, she turning to glare at her friend. "Shut it, Nat. You could have given me a head's up. You know dude bros are my weakness."

"And Steve fits that description perfectly," she grins. "Again.. _you're welcome._ "

 **Sorry this is so short! All these ficlets were actually supposed to be this short, but sometimes some prompts just make the muse run amok.**


	13. What The Hell Is a Stiles?

_**Prompt:** The walls in this apartment (dorm!) building are really thin and I can hear you having mental breakdowns all the time are you okay? AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis & Stiles Stilinski_  
 _ **Tags:** Crossover, Friendship, Humor, Post- Thor: The Dark World_

When Darcy had decided to become part of the Avenger Initiative, she'd thought she'd be a liaison of sorts. Or a wrangler. Or gopher. So color her surprised when she's immediately thrust into training under Hawkeye and the Black Widow herself. She's put through rigorous training in both weapons and hand-to-hand combat, and tones her body as much as she can without compromising her curvaceous figure too much.

She ends up finishing her degree for Political Science when she isn't training or memorizing a SHIELD/Avenger handbook, and then finds out she's to be enrolled at the George Washington University in Washington D.C. come Fall for the pre-FBI program. She has no idea why they want her to attend GWU, but when she realizes it's just because SHIELD and the Avengers need a plant in every government division, she reluctantly agrees. She had brought up the fact that a senior agent would be best suited to be their plant, but they immediately had an answer for her- _"All senior agents can be traced back to SHIELD. Fresh faces can't."_

So Darcy trains and then trains some more, and soon finds herself at GWU. She finds herself in a private dorm room and soon realizes that every dorm on her floor is a single. She has to tone down her personality as to not draw too much attention, but quickly finds herself settling in fairly easily.

Orientation goes well, and she quickly weeds out those she can possibly get to know and which ones to steer clear of.

But, by far, the most interesting individual has been trainee Stilinski. He's her dorm neighbor and has a bit of a spastic personality, but he's wickedly smart when he puts forth the effort. He also has a bit of a talking problem and doesn't really know how to tone down the volume of his voice when secluded in his own room, but Darcy finds she likes that about the kid. It's actually pretty refreshing when in a program for future hard-asses.

* * *

Darcy secludes herself in her dorm with two boxes of pizza, a liter of Mountain Dew- _she's earned the right to a cheat day_ \- and mountains of study material for the upcoming big test of hers. She easily balances eating with studying, making sure not to drop sauce on anything vital, and studies until the beginnings of a headache urge her to take a break.

After popping a few ibuprofen, Darcy cleans up a bit and stretches across her bed to relax for an hour. However, the muffled ramblings of her neighbor keep her pretty entertained.

She knows his stress should not amuse her, but it does and she can't feel sorry about it. At least not for long.

He says some of the most interesting things, but it's only when she hears the words _werewolf_ and _monster of the week_ does she realize that something might be really wrong. It's not the first time she's heard him have a freak out, but this one seems way worse if his rising voice and speed at which he's talking is anything to go by. Being stressed in college is a right of passage, but this is surpassing normal school stress. This is bordering breakdown territory if he's getting squeaky over werewolves, and Darcy will not sit back and watch one of the most promising trainees flunk out.

Quickly climbing to her feet, Darcy pulls on a sweater over her threadbare graphic shirt and exits her room. Taking less than ten steps to reach her neighbor's door, she doesn't think twice about quickly rapping on it. His muffled voice immediately ceases and then the door is yanked open, trainee Stilinski standing there and looking surprised to have a visitor.

"The walls in this building are really thin and I can hear you having mental breakdowns all the time," she blurts. Stilinski looks gobsmacked at being addressed so bluntly and Darcy, horrified, winces. "So I could have phrased that a little better, but now it's out there." She shrugs. "Are you okay?"

"I- I- uh, yes?" He stammers. Darcy snorts and Stilinski seems to relax a bit, and it's then Darcy notices his hand holding a cell phone up to his ear. "Uh, Scott? I'll talk to you later, man."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Darcy quickly apologizes as he pockets his phone, a rather amiable smile lighting up his features. And if Darcy had been a few years younger, Stilinski would most definitely be her type. "I didn't mean to- I mean I did, but I didn't know you were on the phone."

"No, it's fine," he assures her. "It's good to know someone's got my back in case I ever do have a.. mental _breakdown_ , was it?" He chuckles.

Darcy groans in embarrassment. "I really am sorry," she apologizes again. "I've done the whole college experience before and the mental breakdowns usually come before someone flunks or drops out. And you- you're kind of one of the best trainees in our class, so I didn't want to see that happen."

"One of the best? Not _the_ best?"

"Pft. Keep dreaming," Darcy immediately scoffs. "You gotta beat me to earn that spot, Stilinski."

Stilinski laughs and leans against his door jamb. "Stiles. Stilinski is reserved for my old Lacrosse Coach or Agent Suarez and Agent Thompson."

"What the hell is a Stiles?"

Stiles, himself, laughs and Darcy chuckles along with him, her brow then furrowing a moment later and her grin slowly falling. "Wait. _Stiles Stilinski_? Who names their kid Stiles Stilinski?"

"Yeah, I get that a lot. It's actually _M_. Stilinski, but it's a Polish mouth full so my parents took to calling me Stiles since I couldn't pronounce it when I was little."

"Oh. Okay then. I'm Darcy, by the way. Nice to officially meet you."


	14. The Luis Experience

_**Prompt** : You're one of those annoying people who tries to make casual conversation all the time and brings people baked goods and stuff and I just want to mind my own business but somehow we end up being friends or something? AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Luis_  
 _ **Tags:** Humor, Friendship, Post - Civil War, The Team Had a Happily Ever After, No One's a Fugitive_

When Darcy first met Luis, it was at Stark Tower as she and Jane were having a well earned lunch break. They were seated at a paper-free desk as Darcy watched the Hispanic male through the glass walls. Almost as soon as he had stepped off the elevator, his mouth was moving and eyes alight with obvious happiness- his enthusiasm very eye-catching.

"Aw, he's cute," she had told Jane. He'd been making a pit stop at every lab, knocking and waving and talking non-stop, white boxes in hand that were dwindling as he dropped one off to whoever greeted him at the doors.

"Luis?" Jane chuckled. "He's not really your type."

"I'm still figuring out my type, Janie. And besides, I just said he was cute. It's not like I'm going to ask him out."

"Mhm. Just listen to him talk for a minute. You'll change your mind soon enough."

Darcy snorted and continued to eat her noodles, eyes watching Luis as he made his way to their lab with one last box in hand. He hadn't seemed to be paying attention, so Jane had granted him entrance via FRIDAY, and Darcy couldn't help but grin as he had strolled right on in with his attention quickly set on the projected galaxy on their lab ceiling. (God bless Stark technology).

"Hola, mi amigo! Brought some churros from this hole in a wall my cousin Ignacio told me about that his best friend's cousin told him about. I thought I'd bring some for the whole floor since Scottie said I needed to branch out in the friends department. Right? And here you- whoa!" He had cut himself off, eyes wide as he stared at Darcy before looking back to Jane. "Dang, Foster. Who's your crazy stupid fine friend?"

Jane's lips had twitched while Darcy squirmed. There was nothing more better than seeing Darcy get a taste of her own medicine. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Luis's gaze immediately darted back to Darcy where she sheepishly waved her fork at him in greeting. "Darcy. Nice to meet you, Luis."

"Dang," he'd drawled. "Nice voice, too! These superheroes get all the good ladies up in here." And just when Darcy thought he'd immediately start with the flirtation, he did the complete opposite. He beamed at she and Jane, set the box of churros on the table before them, and then bid them farewell.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, Darcy had slumped in relief. "Not bad, but definitely see your point. He's a babbler."

"A big one, but this was nothing. Just wait until he really gets going."

* * *

Turns out Darcy didn't have to wait long for her to get the whole Luis experience.

Without paying much attention to her surroundings because of the earbuds stuffed in her ears blaring her afternoon playlist, Darcy doesn't see Luis trailing after her until they've both stepped into the same elevator.

Her and Jane's lunch dangles from a plastic bag in one hand, her phone cradled in the other that makes it obvious she's listening to music. But Luis, with dessert boxes stacked in hand once more, just beams at her and she has no choice but to smile in return. She' sure the muffled music can be heard to bystanders and before she can avert her gaze to mind her own business, she sees his mouth open and lips move rather rapidly.

Mentally groaning, Darcy presses pause on her phone and pulls free her left earbud. She's seriously regretting thinking that this man was cute.

"-so I tell Scottie _to hell with it,_ right? If Miss Red says I need training, then I need training. No one's gonna try and kidnap the fat guy, but I still wanna learn some bomb ass moves in case I need to save any crazy stupid fine ladies. Know what I mean?"

"Uh, sure, Luis," she feebly grins.

He's still smiling, either oblivious or uncaring that Darcy's just trying to mind her own business. She glances up at the screen which tells them what floor they're on and frowns when she realizes that the elevator is moving oddly slow. Then eyes narrowing, she glances at the camera in the corner. Tony **would** purposely slow the elevator down so she'd be trapped with Luis. This is totally payback for last week when she played _Call Me Maybe_ on loop in his labs.

"My cousin Jesus was kidnapped once. Dude was big, you know? But this was Mexico and I think he was into some illegal activities, so he might have deserved it, but-"

"Weren't _you_ into some illegal activities before Scott became one with the ants?"

"Yeah, sure was. But that's all in the past, girl," he laughs. Darcy shifts from foot to foot and then shrugs it off with a small grin. "So, anyway, Jesus was kidnapped, right? And I think he lost a finger or two. At least that's what Ignacio said that his friend's girlfriend told him before Jesus was let go. So at our next family reunion, Jesus was all, _If I had some ninja moves, man, those pendejos wouldn't have known what hit them._ Which I'm calling bull because Jesus once cried when he squashed a lady bug."

"Lady bug. Yeah.." Darcy sighs and bites the inside of her cheek. The floors are ticking by slowly and Darcy feels like her brains are about to start leaking out of her ears. Luis could really go on and on about anything.

 **.xXx.**

By the time Darcy gets to the lab floor, she hightails it to Jane's lab and waves at Luis over her shoulder as he starts passing out baked goods.

Jane takes one look at Darcy's annoyed expression, opens her mouth to ask what's wrong, but Darcy shakes her head before a word can even escape. "Two words," she says. "Luis.." and then frowns. "What even is his last name?"

And then realization dawns on Jane as she starts to giggle. "Ah. You got the whole Luis Experience, did 'ya? How'd you fare?"

"Okay, I guess," she shrugs and places their food down on an empty table. "At least I didn't hurt anyone's feelings, but oh boy, Janie. I now know that his cousin was possibly kidnapped by the Mexican cartel and I'm never going to Mexico now. I don't want to lose a finger."

* * *

Day after day, Darcy can't seem to catch a break. Luis manages to seek her out whenever he's around to spew nothing but randomness at her, and she's too much of a people pleaser to tell him to move on. So Darcy takes the babbling one day at a time, along with the churros, and nods along at all the appropriate times.

But then one week, the most random thing happens.

Darcy's settling in to watch a marathon of movies in the Common Room when Luis roams in. She mentally groans because all she wants is a quiet moment to binge some of her favorites and to not deal with Luis' babbling. But as soon as he sees the title sequence and opening music for The Wizard of Oz, Luis happily mumbles something before taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch and _ceases all talking._

Only once the movie is over does his babbling pick back up, but Darcy finds herself partaking in a rather amusing back and forth with him until she queues up the next movie.

After that day, Darcy finds that she doesn't quite hate the babbling. She rather enjoys it, especially if it weirds out the other Tower occupants.

So the Luis Experience.. yeah, it's not so bad after all.


	15. Adult People Things

_**Prompt:** This is the first time I'm living on my own and my parents decided to spontaneously drop by in a few hours to see how I'm doing pls let me borrow some cleaning supplies and food so that my parents will believe I'm a functioning, responsible adult who totally cleans and doesn't just have condiments and eggs in my fridge AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski_  
 _ **Tags:** Humor, Friendship, Implied Torture, Crossover_

After the events of London, Darcy follows Jane back to the States where they eventually part ways. Jane has bigger projects and better funding to really get her work off the ground, and Darcy has college to occupy her time. Of course, she only has college to worry about after signing more than half her free will away to SHIELD once again (that agency was nothing but secrets atop of secrets and she couldn't wait to distance herself from them), but go back to college she does.

But then HYDRA happens and SHIELD falls, and there is no telling who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. Darcy apparently trusts the wrong people and ends up kidnapped for her work with Doctor Foster. She doesn't have any valuable information for them, but that doesn't stop the torture techniques they apply to get what they want.

Thor and Tony end up being her saviors two weeks after her initial disappearance, and things aren't quite the same for her. She is a touch jumpy and slowly starts to pull away from the superhero squad, and even just thinking about job hunting stresses her out. She can only live so long with a roommate before they realize she isn't all right in the head, and there is no way in hell she's throwing in the towel to move back in with her parents.

But then Darcy's problems are all solved by the wonderful Pepper Potts fairly quickly.

After dodging Jane's calls one too many times and letting her roommate answer the door when Jane visits, the woman in question feels an immense amount of guilt when she sees just how not well Darcy is coping. Darcy had then reluctantly escorted Jane to her room, and after a couple minutes of questioning on Jane's part everything just came out in one big snot fest. And two days later, Pepper Potts is on Darcy's doorstep. Having felt guilty and wanting to do something, Jane talked to Pepper and Pepper came up with a solution for getting Darcy out of the city. A new job with the branch of Stark Industries in Los Angeles.

Darcy agrees after learning where and just what her would-be job entails, and is quite shocked to find out SI will be paying for her three bedroom home in quite the family neighborhood where she has no reason to be paranoid.

It's her first time living on her own, but after spending some time to get used to the peace and quiet and the friendliness of her neighborhood, Darcy finds she quite likes it.

* * *

Darcy's just tugged on her most worn-in shirt and a pair of leggings, sighing happily as she lets her hair down after a long day of work. There's piping hot Chinese noodles sitting on her rather cluttered coffee table and she can't wait to dig in.

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, she grimaces at it's nearly empty state before kicking the door shut and heading into her living room. She flicks aside a few articles of clothing and plops down on the sofa, she then placing a pillow in her lap. Popping open her beer, she takes a hearty gulp before placing it on the coffee table and grabbing up her noodles to place on her pillowed lap. Then quickly scrolling through her list of recorded TV shows, she decides on catching up with _How To Get Away with Murder_ while getting her grub on.

Twenty minutes in, however, her phone rings. Normally she'd screen all calls during her down time unless they were from SI, but after seeing _Mom_ flash across her screen, Darcy happily pauses her show and sets aside her food. It's been years since she's seen her parents and now that she's in a good place, well she's only too happy to talk to her mother.

"Mom. Hey!" She greets, sipping her beer to quickly wash down the noodles.

" _Darcy-Lou,_ " her mother greets. " _How are you, my little love?_ "

"Doing good, Mom. Just got home from work not too long ago, so I'm eating some dinner and binge watching How To Get Away With Murder."

" _Oh, how I love that show. Can you believe they killed off-_ "

"Spoilers, Mother!" Darcy's quick to chastise. "I'm still way behind. The only ones who I know survived the fire so far is Michaela and Oliver."

" _Things just keep getting juicier from there._ "

"Mhm. I'm sure they do." Darcy takes a quick bite of food before quickly chewing to keep the conversation going. "But as much as I love this surprise phone call, I'm pretty sure you didn't call to talk about a TV show."

" _Oh. Right!_ " Her mother laughs. " _Guess who's in the city?_ " She singsongs.

The beer bottle freezes halfway to Darcy's mouth, her eyes widening as realization sets in. "Mom-"

" _Yes, me! And your Father. We would have been in sooner, but your Father needed a nap. We'll be there in a few hours, darling. I so can't wait to see you. It's been too long._ "

"Oh. That's.. wonderful." And it is, it really is, but panic is slowly starting to set in as Darcy glances around her rather messy home. "I can't wait to see the both of you."

" _Mhm. Well I must go now. I need to unpack the rest of our bags before I start dinner for your Father. We'll be there as soon as we can._ "

"Okay, Mom. See you soon. Love you."

Darcy waits until she hears her Mother say the same and then she's quickly tossing her phone aside and scarfing down the rest of her food.

She rushes around her house to throw away any lingering food containers and tosses articles of clothing into a pile to throw into the washer as soon as she can. Any lingering dishes in the sink are scraped clean of any food before being placed in the dishwasher, and then Darcy opens up the cabinets for some cleaning supplies.

Only there are none. The cabinet is empty and she can't even remember when the last time it was that she gave her home a real good scrub down.

"Aw, crap."

Darcy searches high and low for anything to spruce up her home, but she finds nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only other chore she can do is sweep and vacuum, and then come back to worrying about how she's going to dust and scrub down her counters, and getting her rooms smelling like she's an actual adult who takes care of her responsibilities.

She _can_ go to the store to finish up making her home presentable and look like it's actually lived in, but she's wasted too much time already and shopping will only take even longer. There's only one option left, an option she's not really comfortable with, but the slamming of a car door has her immediately looking out her window and coming to an immediate conclusion. She can totally do this. She _has_ to.

Darcy hurries to the living room, quickly backpedaling into the kitchen to grab a cupcake from a container that she had gotten just that day. Then returning back to her living room, Darcy slips her feet into a pair of sneakers before exiting her home.

Next door, her neighbor is grabbing up bag after bag of what she guesses are groceries and she easily jogs across her lawn only to jump over the small hedges that separate their lawns.

"Hey, um, Hale!" She yells. But he's already looking at her, arms laden with bags and eyebrows either raised in shock or amusement. She can't really tell and she doesn't really care, not really. She just prays that he's uber nice and understands her predicament.

"Can I help you?" He asks, slowly closing the trunk of his vehicle.

She smiles sheepishly. "Hi. Yes. Um, my name's Darcy and I know I should have introduced myself properly months ago when I first moved in.. but, uh, I have a huge favor to ask of you and I really hope it's not too forward of me."

So far, so good. Hale- er, Derek- looks as if he's just really amused by her. And yes, though he doesn't properly know her, she knows pretty much everyone who lives up and down her block thanks to Pepper Potts putting together files of all her neighbors. It was to make her feel comfortable after the whole ordeal with HYDRA and Darcy's thanked her profusely for it, but she was pretty sure Tony and/or Nat had a hand in putting together the files of her neighbors' every day lives.

Eventually, Derek gives her a brief nod. "Sure. As long as it's reasonable. After all, we are basically strangers still."

"I'm really sorry about that," she blurts. "I'm kind of a.. a home body, I guess. Stupid traumatic thing that I've been pushing down and trying to forget and yeah," she babbles, completely missing the brief frown that mars his face. "I kept meaning to introduce myself to everyone around here, but I never got around to it and now that something's come up.. I really need the help."

His amusement fades and is oddly replaced by worry. "Are you in trouble?" Darcy takes note of the sudden change in the man's aura, noticing how alert he suddenly seems, but she files that away for another day. Dude was weird, but there are more important things at stake here.

"Not really," she shrugs. "It's just that this is the first time I'm living on my own and my parents decided to spontaneously drop by in a couple of hours to see how I'm doing. Please.. _PLEASE_ let me borrow some cleaning supplies and food, so that my parents will believe I'm a functioning, responsible adult who totally cleans and doesn't just have condiments and eggs in my fridge. I promise to return everything and reimburse you for whatever I end up using!" Now, Derek's just gaping and as Darcy shifts from foot to foot in nervousness, she remembers the cupcake in her hands. Promptly holding the treat up at eye level, she smiles as sweetly as she can. "There are more treats like this in it for you if you say yes. These are store bought, but if you prefer homemade I can do that, too. It'd just have to wait until my parents leave."

"How- how do you not have food?" He finally asks.

"I work a lot," she slowly frowns. "And I buy take-out. All my household chores tend to just get pushed to the back burner. I have the money to reimburse you, if that's what you're worried about. I work at Stark Industries. It's just I forget to do.. adult.. people.. things. Sometimes."

Darcy's prepared to plead her case some more when Derek starts chuckling, his rough chuckles then turning into full blown laughter. She waits him out and when he's finally calm enough, he says, "Normally I'd have sent you on your way, because according to several people I'm a cranky ol' bastard, but my boyfriend's been watching and listening since you've jumped the hedges and I'm pretty sure he's game to help you out if his smile is anything to go by."

Derek gestures over Darcy's shoulder and sure enough, she finds Derek's boyfriend Stiles standing by their front door with a bucket of what she can only guess is cleaning supplies in hand.

When his presence has been noticed, Stiles practically runs down the sidewalk to meet them in the driveway. "Sorry about my Sourwolf here," Stiles says, absentmindedly patting Derek's pec. "But we'd love to help you out." Darcy's only a little intimidated by the man's manic grin, he pushing the bucket into her arms while simultaneously taking the cupcake from her. "You take that, I'll take this and Derek will bring some groceries. I'll help you out after I order Derek a pizza for dinner tonight, and then I want to know what it's like to work at Stark Industries. That Potts woman is a dream boat."

Darcy startles herself when a laugh bubbles out from between her lips, she then shaking her head in amusement. "I, uh, yeah. I can do that. And the pizza and beer is on me tonight for you guys agreeing. I'm Darcy, by the way, and it really is great to finally meet you guys."

Stiles smirks. "Likewise."


	16. Girl's Day

_**Prompt:** We have weekly get-togethers where we gossip about our other neighbors AU_  
 _ **Relationships:** implied- Darcy/Steve, implied- Jane/Thor, implied- Pepper/Tony, implied- Natasha/Clint_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanoff_  
 _ **Tags:** Ignores All Team Drama, I Love Happy Endings, Humor, Friendship_

 **Author's Note:** I originally planned to have Laura Barton in this, but for reasons I just took her out. Sorry! (I really do love her). Also, I made a slight change to the prompt. Instead of them having weekly get-togethers, they'll be **monthly**. And the neighbors that are spoken of in here, they technically are neighbors since each couple live in different apartments/penthouse ;)

The quinjet lands in an empty field, the ramp lowering moments later as the four occupants step off. Pepper and Natasha look as immaculate as always, but Darcy and Jane are squinting against the blaring morning sun as they trail after the other two through knee high grass.

"We really need to tone down the alcohol," Jane mumbles miserably, trying to shield her eyes as best as she can with her right hand.

"Pft. Speak for yourself, lightweight." Darcy's come prepared, a rather large pair of sunglasses being settled on her face to block the sun's rays. "We just need to remember to not start drinking until we actually get to the farm. We always drink beforehand and we're always hungover the following morning when we get here."

Pepper and Natasha grin over their shoulders.

"If you try to sneak anything out, the boys will get suspicious about our monthly _Spa Getaways,_ " Natasha informs them. "Do you really want Clint to figure out we're using his farm for our monthly gossip sessions?"

"Or worse. Tony?" Pepper laughs.

"Ugh. No," Darcy fake gags.

"I still don't see why we can't invite Thor," Jane muses. "He's great at braiding hair."

"Yeah, but he's also a very nice piece of man meat. You two will be able to do the _do_ , but the rest of our engines will be revved and wanting, and no thank you. I love Steve, but I'm not willing to risk having Tony and Clint crash our getaway. Besides, everyone needs a little space every now and then from their significant other."

"Ditto," Natasha smirks. "I adore Clint, but I _need_ time with the ladies."

"Amen," Pepper sighs in agreement.

The girls trudge up the steps to the two story farmhouse, they dropping off their bags just inside the front door. Everyone makes a beeline for the kitchen and while the two hungover women plop down at the table, Pepper starts the coffee and Natasha starts breakfast.

Jane and Darcy are grumbling pathetically until Natasha takes pity on them, the redhead getting to work on pulling a bottle of Vodka out of the freezer and a jug of Orange Juice from the fridge. Moments later she places two Screwdrivers in the center of the table.

"Drink up, ladies. No point in being miserable. This is only the start of our weekend."

* * *

The four women spend the weekend relaxing. They drink, they sunbathe, they cook recipes they've found that has piqued their interest weeks prior and they gossip (they can gossip at the Tower, but their significant others are always butting in and twisting the gossip for their own twisted pleasure. ~cough~Tony&Clint~cough~).

The monthly get-away had jokingly been Darcy's idea after one too many butt-ins from Clint and Tony when she and the other ladies had been having a relaxing night in the penthouse, and Pepper ran with the idea. She had initially suggested to taking the ladies to a Spa on Tony's dime, but Darcy didn't like the idea that the men would know exactly where they were at and could crash at any particular time. Nat then came up with the idea of Clint's farm since it was secure, suggesting that Clint had a caretaker and rarely went out there himself unless he needed time off. And since Nat was Nat and Pepper was Pepper, it was easy to pay off the caretaker to keep Clint in the dark about his lady and her friends using his house for one weekend every month.

"So you know the drill, ladies," Darcy says, placing several glasses of margaritas in the middle of the kitchen table. "Juiciest gossip or most entertaining thing that's happened this passed month. And go!"

Darcy plops down in her chair and grabs up her glass. Taking a hearty sip of her drink, she glances at the others and waits to hear whatever they have to say.

"Well, since everyone is now in the know about Phil still being alive.." Pepper pauses just long enough to huff a laugh at Natasha's twitching eye (the reveal of Coulson's not-really death caused so much drama), "you'll all be glad to know that I've been in contact with Agent Johnson and she tells me that Phil and Agent May have officially become an item."

"It's about time," Natasha mumbles at the same time Darcy cackles, "Get it, iPod Thief."

"I have some good video footage of Clint falling out of a vent," Jane says, laughing as she recalls the day it happened.

"He kept eavesdropping, so I booby trapped the vent outside my lab with the help of Bruce and Tony. They gave me some tiny speakers that packed a punch and the next time he tried to spy, he got an earful of fog horns. I thought people's arms only windmilled on TV."

Pepper giggles into her drink and Natasha smirks.

"Serves him right." Natasha takes a sip of her own margarita before carefully setting the glass back down. "Bruce and Betty are talking once more," she casually says.

Darcy chokes on her drink, Jane giggling as she claps her friend on the back a few times. "WHAT?!" She finally manages to semi-shout once her airway is clear. "Since when?!"

"Since a certain little perky lab assistant wouldn't stop bugging him and he realized he would never be truly happy if he kept pushing people away."

"Oh." Darcy immediately deflates. "Good. I was wondering if he was paying attention when I kept shoving her contact information under his nose. She really did miss him."

Pepper nods. "They really are good together. At least, that's what I gathered from Tony's snooping. I hope this time it lasts."

"Same," Jane agrees.

Everyone looks to Darcy and the brunette in question feigns complete innocence and nonchalance. "What?"

"Don't give us that." Natasha narrows her eyes at the younger girl. "You always have the juiciest piece of gossip because of your connections to Fury, so spill. What has our favorite ex-Director been whispering in your ear?"

Darcy laughs. "I can't help it if Nicholas adores me. He's one surly man, but hook-up his right hand with the lady of her dreams so she's getting laid on the down low and that man is instantly your best friend."

Natasha slowly grins. "Maria and Sharon? Finally."

"Right?" Darcy chuckles. "Anyway, Nick's been pretty tight-lipped this month, but I did hear some other things."

"Do tell." Pepper leans forward, her elbow resting atop the table and her chin resting on her fist as she smiles in anticipation.

"Well.. as Jane knows, the Bifrost has been pretty active as of late and we all know Thor's been on-Earth for the last several months. It's been brought to my attention that SHIELD doesn't like to share, as we all know, so they wanted their own liaison to our beloved Asgard."

"Yeah? Who'd they get?" Natasha wonders.

"Apparently Lady Sif has been making drop-ins and _apparently_ a mere mortal has caught the bad ass warrior lady's heart."

"No way!" Jane squeals.

"Yes way. SHIELD's very own Cameron Klein. I've heard he's kind of geeky and stammers way too much when in Sif's presence."

Natasha hums as she recalls the particular agent. "He's a good guy. Loyal to Cap, at least," she shrugs. "He refused to launch the Helicarriers even when Rumlow had a gun to his head."

"Then I like him all the more," Darcy says. "Hopefully Sif doesn't eat him alive."

The ladies all laugh and moments later, Pepper's phone starts to ring. The woman in question groans, she standing and walking over to the counter where her phone lays. Then glancing at the screen, she sighs. "Reality calls, ladies," she says while showing them her screen where Tony's picture lights up the surface. "Time to head home."

Darcy and Jane boo, the both of them furiously sipping the rest of their margaritas while Natasha stands to empty our her glass since she is piloting the quinjet. As Pepper takes Tony's call in another room, Natasha starts cleaning up their mess in the kitchen.

Jane jumps up and rushes to the blender, she gathering what she needs for another pitcher of the good slush. "What?" She shrugs at Natasha as the redhead smirks at her. "When I said we needed to tone down the alcohol, I didn't actually mean it."

"Of course you didn't. Are you sure this is not the margarita talking right now?"

Darcy hip checks the redhead by the sink. "Stuff it, spiderling. If Janie wishes to get sloshed on the way home, Janie will get sloshed on the way home. I need more blackmail material and I want to see what drunk!Jane antics I can catch her performing mid-air."

"You're lucky I adore the two of you." Darcy beams at Natasha's words and then laughs at what she says next. "Make sure to send me copies of whatever you catch. I love drunk Jane."


	17. Little Devil

_**Prompt:** Your dog keeps pooping on my lawn AU_  
 _ **Characters:** Darcy Lewis, Clint Barton, Lucky the Pizza Dog_  
 _ **Tags:** Alternate Universe - No Powers, Humor, Friendship_

Darcy Lewis had never been a morning person, but as she learned to stand on her own two feet and moved into her own home she realized that _that_ wasn't quite true.

Don't get her wrong, mornings were still for heathens, but she found that she quite liked getting up before sunrise during that short period of time when Fall gave way to Winter. It wasn't too cold yet and Darcy could easily sit on her wooden porch swing in flannel pajamas without freezing any bits off as she watched the morning come to life with a mug of steaming coffee in hand.

She lucked out having such great neighbors, but there was one neighbor.. one neighbor who she rarely had any reason to run into that perplexed her a bit. He was older, for sure, and a bit accident prone if the bruises, bandages or split lips she constantly saw him sporting from afar were anything to go by. The only time she ever really saw him was when he walking his dog or jogging side-by-side the little devil.

Speaking of the little devil, there he is now.

Darcy groans as the rather grungy golden Labrador trots into her front yard, sniffing around for the perfect spot to relieve himself. "Lucky. Hey!" She hastily snaps her fingers in his direction to get his attention. No such luck. "Lucky, you little shit, don't you dare pop a squat in my yard again."

But Lucky pays her no mind and before Darcy can yank off one of her house slippers to chuck at the dog, he does exactly what he's come to do and does his business right then and there.

"Goddammit, you mangy mutt." Her nose wrinkles as the dog finishes and then turns around to sniff at his own mess, she sighing as he finally decides to pay her any attention. Panting, Lucky quietly _woofs_ before trotting up her sidewalk and then up her porch steps. She holds her leg out to keep him from coming any closer. "Nope. Stop right there, dude. Do not pass go."

He quietly _woofs_ again and if Darcy were any less saner, she'd have thought the dog was laughing at her. Then instead of trying to jump up on the swing, Lucky plops down in front of Darcy on the porch and sticks his snout through the wooden posts of her railing.

Whistling garners Darcy and Lucky's attention, she glancing down the street to see Lucky's owner padding barefoot down the sidewalk. "Lucky! Come on, Lucky, time to come home."

The dog's ears perk up, but he loses interest quickly in his own owner and goes back to relaxing. Darcy snorts.

"Pizza dog!" Clint shouts. "Come on, man. Let's go back to bed."

Darcy watches Clint Barton stumble down the sidewalk, lazily scratching as his stomach in his own version of pajamas as he searches for his dog. Then finally taking pity on him, Darcy raises her hand and waves her arm back and forth. "Yo, Barton! Lucky's over here."

Clint's attention darts to her, his gaze immediately dropping lower and his shoulders sag in relief.

She continues to sip her still warm coffee, grinning as Clint makes his way up her walkway and the porch steps. "Your dog keeps pooping on my lawn," she grins. "I'm going to start filling up paper bags and setting them on fire in your lawn."

Clint snorts. "You wouldn't. And.. I'm sorry. I normally walk around with him to clean up any mess, but he got out this morning. I didn't come prepared."

As he sheepishly rubs the back of his head, Darcy can't help but mentally coo. There was no doubt that Clint was very handsome in that rugged way of his and him being awkward somehow made him 10x hotter. "I got some plastic bags inside if you'd like. I don't mean to make a big deal out of this-"

"No! No, you're good," Clint quickly assures her. "I always clean up after Lucky, but the little rascal keeps getting out before I'm ready. But, uh, yeah. I'll take a bag to clean up after him."

Darcy leisurely sips her coffee, she grinning into her mug as she nods. "Alright. I'll be right back."

She takes a stand to head inside and she sees Clint take a seat on the swing from the corner of her eye to better reach his pet. Just as she steps foot inside her home, she swears she hears him say, "You rascal. This is what I get for drunkenly pouring my heart out to you? You run straight to the lady of my dreams and force my hand into talking to her? You're a worse matchmaker than Nat."

And if Darcy can't stop smiling and adds a little sway into her step when she returns outside, well then.. can you really blame her? Clint Barton was really good looking, even if his dog was a little devil.


	18. Who You Gonna Call?

_**Prompt** : You just moved in next door and you're convinced your house is haunted so you seek refuge at my house when you get freaked out and eventually rope me into investigating for paranormal activity and the only reason I'm doing any of this is because you're really freaking cute AU_  
 _ **Characters** : Darcy Lewis & Stiles Stilinski_  
 _ **Tags** : Humor, Friendship, Stiles Can't Deal With Ghosts, Darcy Can't Either_

Darcy loves her home in California for two reasons. One is because the neighborhood is home to numerous elderly couples, so the noise volume and drama is pretty non-existent. (You know, not including the cute gossiping ladies that Darcy can't help but adore. At least their gossip isn't really a big deal). And two because the house next door has been empty for the last year Darcy's been settled down here. She likes her solitude, especially after spending a couple years of running around with superheros and scatter-brained scientists.

But now, now someone's decided to move in next door and Darcy's not quite sure what to think. On one hand, the rather lean, attractive guy is around her age. But on the other, _he's around her age_ which means noise and drama and everything Darcy wasn't too keen on being surrounded by. (But hey, at least he has some really attractive friends as well).

Within the first week, Darcy learns her neighbor goes by Stiles because his first name is such a travesty that even he still has trouble pronouncing it. He has a close knit group of friends, but they're scattered all over the place and he's living on his own rather than moving back in with his Father. They share the bare minimum of what they do for work- Darcy the Social Media Queen for California's branch of Stark Industries and Stiles a rookie agent with the FBI. They don't necessarily hang out together, but they do greet each other whenever they see one another, so Darcy's a bit surprised when Stiles knocks on her door one evening and practically invites himself inside her home.

"Hey, uh, it's cool if I hang here for a bit. Right? Promise I won't stay long." He seems jittery and a little paler than normal, and his eyes keep darting all over the place. Normally Darcy would be suspicious about this type of behavior, but after running a background check on him via the Black Widow she knows that he checks out as A-Okay.

"Um. Sure. I was just about to have some pizza. Do you-"

"Yeah, yeah. Sounds good."

Darcy watches Stiles immediately search out her kitchen, he making himself right at home. He goes through the process of serving himself something to drink and she can only watch on in slight amusement. "Everything good there, Stilinski?"

He nods rapidly, water dribbling down his chin. "Mhm." Stiles is quiet for the duration of gulping down his water, Darcy then leaning against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest. Something's up and it's best if she waits him out. He'll talk soon enough.

Stiles seems to be working on autopilot as he distractedly grabs up a slice of pizza, he cramming half of it in his mouth without a word. He gets down two entire slices and another glass of water before sighing and cracking. Then seeking out Darcy, he finds her staring at him with an eyebrow raised in amusement.

"So, uh, I think my house is haunted."

Darcy scoffs. "What?"

"Haunted. I didn't think too much about it at first because I'm used to weird, but.. well," he trails off nervously. "I heard children giggling. Children _giggling_. There are no kids near us, Lewis!"

"Oh. You're serious."

"Duh!"

"Huh." Darcy falls silent, she shrugging a moment later. "Well. If you bring anything into my home, I'll stab you with a fork. Repeatedly."

That startles a laugh out of Stiles, he eventually cracking a grin as his shoulders slump. Then shaking his head slowly from side to side, he says, "Thanks for being so worried about my well being."

"You got it, dude. Now calm down and help me finish this pizza. If I eat it all by myself I'll only regret it later.

* * *

It's another two days before Stiles drops by unannounced, this visit being after midnight. He's got a blanket thrown over his shoulder and a pillow tucked under his arm, and Darcy can only gape at him as she subtly tries to pull down the hem of her tank top and mentally will her boxers longer.

"Uh.."

"The giggling has turned into grown man moans, and not the fun type of moans either, and something keeps pulling my blanket off the second I drift off to sleep."

"Say no more." Darcy lets the door swing open and she steps back so Stiles can enter. "Spare bedroom's upstairs and to the left."

"You're a lifesaver."

"Mhm. You can thank me in breakfast foods. Or I tell everyone about your Jimmy Neutron jammies," she says as he brushes passed her while shutting the front door.

Stiles glances down at his pajama pants and shrugs. "Right now I'm more annoyed of whatever's in my house to take that threat seriously, but I'll make you breakfast, lunch and dinner if you let me crash me here until everything's resolved at my house."

"Whatever, you big baby. I already told you where the room is. Now march!" She orders, pointing up the stairs. "I'm tired, you're tired and we both got work in the morning."

* * *

Darcy's placed the last of the cameras around Stiles' home, she sighing and making her way back to the living room (or Control Center as Stiles dubbed it). Plopping down on the sofa, she grabs up a carton of curly fries from the coffee table and pops a fry into her mouth. "So tell me again why I'm helping you hunt these so called ghosts?"

Focusing on connecting the cameras to several laptops set up around the room, Stiles tells her, "Because I dropped this on you when you were half asleep, you called me cute and said _anything for you, moles_ before passing out, and to help me prove to my friends that my mind isn't playing tricks on me." Darcy snorts, but doesn't deny the cute comment. She had a tendency to babble when half asleep or very drunk.

Clicking away on keyboards, Stiles continues to babble himself. "You'd think after running around with werewolves that I'd be used to this kind of stuff, but nope. Ghosts are on a completely different level."

Darcy snorts, but then her grin falls when his words register. "Wait, what?"

After a moment, Stiles glances over his shoulder. "What?"

"You said werewolves."

His eyes subtly widen. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did," Darcy huffs a laugh. "You said that after running with werewolves you should be used to this stuff, but you weren't."

"I- I didn't-" He stammers and then sighs when Darcy just stares at him with a knowing look. "Fine." His shoulders slump in defeat. "Werewolves are real. I, um, I might actually be part of a Pack." Nervously scratching the back of his head, Stiles refuses to meet Darcy's eye.

Well shit. Darcy did not think he was actually serious. Or, you know, spill that secret so fast.

There's a minute of awkward tension before she decides to throw caution to the wind, she shrugging it off as if it were no big deal and popping another curly fry in her mouth. After chewing it and swallowing, she casually throws out, "Well, I gotta say I didn't see that coming, but I guess it shouldn't really surprise me after battling aliens in Greenwich."

"..what?"

"And being best friends with another alien. Thor is like a puppy."

"Wait, WHAT?!"

"Mhm. You're friends with werewolves, I'm friends with Avengers. Deal." Stiles gapes and then blinks rapidly, Darcy cackling at his expression. "That's what you get, loser. Don't dump major news on me and I won't dump major news on you."

"But.. but.."

A door slams somewhere in the house and Darcy jumps to her feet, curly fries falling. Though she's quite nervous for what the night's got in store for them, she's glad for the distraction from having to tell Stiles all about her friendships with superheroes.

 **.xXx.**

The later it gets, the more creepy things get.

Doors are either creaking open or slamming shut, startling both Stiles and Darcy to stick close to one another. Curtains billow out as if air is being blown behind them, but all the windows are shut tight. There's children giggling and then what sounds to be a grown man's muffled voice coming from somewhere in the house. But it's the footsteps from above that prompt Darcy and Stiles to actually get up and investigate.

"I swear to Thor, Stilinski, that if I die tonight my ghost will latch onto you and haunt you until your dying breath."

They're slowly creeping through the upstairs level, Darcy practically clinging to Stiles' arm as they walk side-by-side.

"Always so nice, Lewis. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you actually meant that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I know you're hot for this bod," Stiles murmurs, gesturing up and down his form. Darcy snorts, but doesn't deny a word. "What, no- _ow!_ "

"What?!"

"What do you mean _what?_ " Stiles huffs, rubbing the right side. "You pinched me."

"I pinched..?" Darcy mumbles, stopping in the middle of the hallway and clinging tighter to Stiles. With wide eyes, she turns to him. "I didn't pinch you," she murmurs, heart beating faster. "My hands are right here." And to emphasize just where her hands are at, she squeezes his left bicep where she's been clinging to the entire time.

Stiles gulps. "Then if you didn't, who-"

" **Boo.** "

Darcy screams and Stiles yelps, the both of them jumping in fright and clasping on to each other, hugging each other tight while their cheeks are pressed together. Just behind where they once stood now hovers an apparition. It's not what Darcy expected a ghost to look like, it glowing an ethereal blue while it's eye sockets are just two black voids. It's obviously male, maybe in his early 60s, and he doesn't look the teeniest bit happy to see them there.

"Stiles, do you- do you-"

"Yep. I see-"

The ghost's mouth drops open further than a person should be able to open it and a ear splitting shriek comes forth. Darcy and Stiles scream in fear, and just as they turn around to book it towards the stairs the both of them get shoved hard enough fall and slide across the floor. They come to a stop just at the top of the staircase, and they're both quick to scramble to their feet and run downstairs.

They blow passed the living room in favor of throwing open the front door and nearly fall to their knees in the front yard. Panting for breath, they face the house once more only to see all the lights flickering on and off inside.

"That.. is definitely not good," Stiles blurts.

"No shit." Digging out her phone from her back pocket, Darcy is thankful that the screen didn't crack. "That ghost is not your average Casper," she mumbles while scrolling through her contacts. "We need help."

"Yeah?" Stiles wonders, glancing at her and seeing the phone in hand. "Who you gonna call..?"

"My sister. Half sister, actually. She deals with all.. this." She waves in the house's direction after finding her sister's name, she pressing it and then putting the call on speaker.

It rings three times before someone picks up.

" _Jillian's Crematorium. You ghost 'em, we roast 'em._ "

Stiles snorts and Darcy rolls her eyes. "Funny, Holtzmann. Love you, miss you, but I actually called because my neighbor has a ghost problem and the ghost literally just knocked us on our asses."

There's a moment of silence and then, " _That's.. awesome. Send me the address and I'll get the team together for a ghost bustin'._ "

* * *

 **So yeah, I obviously wrote this one while watching Ghostbusters and I couldn't pass up linking the movie to this crossover somehow.**


	19. A Night to Remember

_**Prompt** : All of our other neighbors are crazy so we bond over that fact that we're the only normal people on the whole street AU_  
 _ **Characters** : Darcy Lewis & Bruce Banner_  
 _ **Tags** : Alternate Universe - No Powers, Friendship, Humor_

Darcy lounges in the front yard of her home, sipping on a glass of wine as she watches some of her neighbors gather the blockades to block off both entrances of their street in order to have their monthly block party. The blockades used to cause problems once upon a time with certain neighbors, but after seeing the shenanigans and enjoying the benefits of having a billionaire practically pay for everything to have these parties.. well let's just say that people were pretty quick to shut up and enjoy themselves.

There's an empty chair next to Darcy, as well as an empty wine glass waiting to be filled sitting next to a bucket of ice that the wine bottle sits in. And not even ten minutes later, the chair is being pulled out and a rather exhausted looking Professor Banner drops into the seat.

"Long day, Bruce?"

"Try long week," he mumbles. He grabs up the wine bottle and takes a long gulp, he then pouring himself more than half a glass before settling down. "Sometimes I wonder why I decided to teach young adults. They're worse than first graders."

She snorts. "Only when the weekend is near."

To the outside eye, one would wonder what the recent college grad was doing with the older gentleman sitting next to her, but everyone on the block knew for a fact nothing was going on with Miss Lewis and Professor Banner. They were merely friends who happened to bond over the fact that they were the only two normal ones on their street while everyone else was a bit of a loon. At times.

"So who do you think is being reprimanded tonight?" Bruce asks. "Last month was both Jane and Thor for being caught nearly having sex against the side of Tony's house."

Darcy giggles as she recalls Tony's not so masculine squeak of outrage. "My money's on Clint or Bucky. Clint's actually set up moon bounce in his yard," she says, gesturing towards Clint's home where the giant moon bounce is being aired up, "and Bucky was watching on with a too smug smirk. I'm kind of terrified to see how all this plays out tonight."

Bruce chuckles as he picks up his glass and proposes a toast. "To an interesting night."

"To an interesting night!" Darcy agrees, clinking her glass with Bruce's.

 **.xXx.**

Bruce and Darcy sat out in her front yard, trading stories about their respective jobs that they have yet to share with one another, and wave at the last of their neighbors passing by as they come home from work.

Then as day finally gives away to night, the street is blocked off as picnic tables and chairs are placed in the middle of the street. Tiki torches are lined up and down the sidewalk, their flames adding more light to the already lit up street lamps. A few barbeque pits are already flaming, the cooks just waiting for the fire to die down so they can start adding the meat. Portable wireless speakers are linked together and placed up and down the street, and Natasha scrolls through the neighborhood iPod for the playlist of the month that everyone had added songs to.

Once the music starts and everyone starts to unwind, Bruce and Darcy move out to the street. There's a table off to the side where a blender sits along with other necessary items to make pitchers of margaritas, as well as an ice chest full of ice just beneath it, and Darcy sets to work as Bruce takes off to briefly mingle with everyone else.

Darcy whips up pitcher after pitcher of margaritas, handing out glass after glass to her eager neighbors. The last pitcher is for herself and Bruce, she taking a glass of the slushy drink to her friend before starting her own rounds of greeting everyone.

After numerous _Hello's, What Up's and Sup's_ , Darcy finds herself back at her usual spot where Bruce is already waiting for her. He already has another margarita waiting for her and Darcy grabs it up with a grateful groan.

"Jesus," she moans. "You're perfect." She takes a healthy gulp of her new frosty drink and grins at him. "If you weren't in a committed, long distance relationship I'd flirt like hell with you, Professor."

Bruce snorts. "Oh how I appreciate your honesty, Lewis, and your restraint. I'm sure Betty would adore you."

"Mhm. Betty sounds like a lovely lady. I would never do anything to hurt her."

"And that's why you're my favorite person on this street." Darcy preens at Bruce's words, he chuckling for a moment. He takes a drink of his margarita and then, "So did you find out any good gossip while making your rounds? I'm pretty sure I saw Helen Cho being a little too chummy with Sam Wilson."

Darcy gasps. "No! I thought he had a thing going on with Wanda?"

"Apparently Wilson and Wanda _explored_ the romantic part of their relationship, and realized they were better off as friends. I think I heard her brother mention something about a new guy named Lance. Or Hunter. Or was it Lance Hunter?"

Bruce ponders over it for a little while and Darcy ends up giggling at him. "You're worse than Bucky with the gossip. Oh my God."

He snaps out of it and rolls his eyes in good humor. "Says the woman who started the very false rumor about Nick and Phil."

"That was almost a year ago! Let it go already," she groans.

 **.xXx.**

Time passes with good drinks and good music, the food being served up a little while later. There's more mingling before Bruce and Darcy finds themselves back at their table, the two of them watching the late night shenanigans pick up.

It took little to no persuasion for a hammered Steve to get Thor to agree that spitting fire was the most amazing thing ever, and less than two minutes for something to catch fire. Cameron Klein was already passed out under one of the picnic tables and Maria Hill was drunkenly snapping pictures of her co-worker to most likely blackmail him later with.

The moon bounce was a hit with the drunken adults, but it didn't take long for shouting to come from within the bouncy castle and for the drunken fools to scramble out as fast as they could from the teeny-tiny hole in the net.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. We need a closer look."

Bruce follows after Darcy as she hops up, she keeping a sedate pace as she makes her way towards Clint who's bent at the waist and laughing his ass off.

" _Oh, gross!_ " Tony hollers from within the castle.

Bucky stumbles into Clint, both the men then hanging onto each other as they continue to laugh at the two remaining people in the moon bounce- one of them being Tony himself.

"What's going on?" Darcy asks, squinting to see that it's Tony and _Pepper_ still inside.

"Pep- she.. she barfed," Clint laughs, trying to catch his breath.

"We found her.. in the castle. Passed out." Bucky continues to laugh, wiping the corner of his eyes to rid himself of the tears gathering there. "We were sitting inside, relaxing, when Stark crawled in and decided to wake her up via bouncing."

"Only it upset her stomach too much and she just _spewed_ all over the place."

" _Pep! It's not funny! Stop laughing at me!_ "

"And Stark slipped in it!"

As Clint and Bucky fall into each other once more, laughing their heads off, Darcy gapes and turns to a chuckling Bruce. "Interesting night, indeed," the Professor says. "And to think we thought it was going to be Clint or Bucky responsible for the night's most interesting tale. I have a feeling tonight's a night that some people won't let Miss Potts forget."

* * *

 **End.**

 **Thanks to all those who stuck around :)**


End file.
